Sunday, November 2, 2008

Rio's Birthday and Jehovah's Witnesses

Yeah! Today we had a great party in honor of Rio's first birthday. In my opinion, it was a success! The guests liked the food, the kids kept busy playing or making masks and EVERYONE CAME! We had 24 guests (+ us 3) in our tiny apartment! It was so fun! Only one thing was missing...Rio's father.

Ben's dad is a Jehovah's Witness so he doesn't believe in celebrating any holidays. BUT I JUST HAD TO CELEBRATE RIO'S FIRST BIRTHDAY! I think it is important to pause and reflect on the past year, the good times and bad and all the growth (physical and emotional) that has taken place. Also, I wanted to share this moment with all the people that helped me through the challenges of Rio's first year. I was so touched that everybody came. 

Ben and I have been married for 12 years and out of respect for his beliefs, I have stopped celebrating holidays. Sure, I show up to most of the parties but my heart is always troubled. I feel guilty spending "our money" on gifts for people. I strongly believe in the Christian faith, but I don't agree with JWs that it is ungodly to celebrate holidays. I think traditions are important because they bring people together, even if just for a moment. I struggle with how to respect Ben but still respect my own beliefs. Is it really that important? Its just a couple days a year. I can just give it up. That's way today was important to me. I had a BIRTHDAY PARTY, a real birthday party, with a BIRTHDAY cake, a BIRTHDAY song and we accepted BIRTHDAY gifts. I didn't try to hide the fact that it was a celebration. (Poor Phoenix...his first birthday party was called an "AUTUMN PARTY" so that I wouldn't offend Ben! I SUCK!)

Ben was totally fine with the party, even though he wasn't apart of it. He helped me prepare by cleaning the whole house by himself (YES! HE IS AMAZING!) and watching the kids without complaining while I cut fruit and vegetables. 

OK, I still feel a little bit guilty though. Why did I do something, spend time and money on something that EXCLUDED MY OWN HUSBAND, THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN? Arg, such is life! 


The Milroy Family said...

What a beautiful post! You and Ben are so amazing and it says so much about your love for one another that you have been able to balance and respect each other's beliefs in this way. How nice of Ben to clean for the party! Happy birthday to Rio!

Sari said...

Love your post Cortsa.
Happy 1st birthday to Rio! Wow, has it really been a year already??

I am a little speechless because I, as you, agree with and love such celebrations of life..but the two of you coming to an arrangement that fits both needs shows such maturity and respect..I am sure it is not always easy but are we not learning from each and everything that we go through in life?

I love you.