Depression

Maybe it is post-partumn? The baby blues should be over by now, right? I can be in a funk for days lately. I'm perfectly fine now, loving life, finding joy in motherhood and not complaining about the arctic! But I was so down for about 4 days, in a bad place- withdrawn, hyper-sensitive, anxious, crying, feeling lonely. For the most part I'm able to put on a happy face for the kids, but in other moments I'm dry-heaving trying to cope with a simple task like putting away the clothes or a mistake I made that really anyone could have made. I just beat myself up like crazy telling myself how stupid I am. Once I start with one negative thought I just can't stop until I feel like vomiting.

During all that I went online to check out symptoms of depression. I had to laugh because it was exactly the words that I'd been throwing around in my head- feeling restless, crying a lot, feeling worthless, etc. It said that the treatment was "talk therapy". And then it was SO OBVIOUS how important community is to ME. I love my friends and I love SHARING life with people. I haven't found my place here yet, but I am usually fortunate in that wherever I go I find good people. I'm sure this year in Båtsfjord will be a fantastic adventure, but when things get hard I'm going to especially miss my amazing network back home. I LOVE YOU ALL! I'll be making good use of email and skype then! xxoo

p.s. I love my newly found blogging community as well!