Big Cities

Happy Birthday Tiago!

2011-08-04T08:14:00.002-05:00

In honor of Tiago's 2nd birthday I am reposting his birth story.

Phoenix's 1st Violin Lesson

2011-06-21T21:11:00.004-05:00

I am hoping these adorably chubby hands will soon be playing the violin.

Yesterday was Phoenix's first violin lesson. Why violin? Our family LOVES fiddle music AND someone gave us a violin. So here we are. We found a Suzuki instructor close by and we're giving it a shot!

As for the Down syndrome part, this is how I handled it. First, I just inquired about lessons. We set up the schedule. Then I told her Phoenix had Down syndrome. (You never know how people are going to react to your child with special needs so I wanted to tell her ahead of time. Believe me, we sadly get some pretty cruel looks from strangers from time to time. So I was protecting both myself and him.) She was totally fine with it. I gave her an out and she didn't take it. She doesn't have any experience with students with special needs and I kind of like that. She treated him like any other student.

First lesson, he didn't even play! He practiced standing, holding the bow properly, balancing the violin under his chin with no hands and bowing. It was great! He learned new words and had another opportunity to practice following directions (we prayed about that part on the front steps outside her home!).

When we got in the car after the lesson I rhetorically asked him, Did you play the violin? He shook his head NO. That's right! He didn't play it! LOL! Just a lot of prep work!

Annual Fishing Derby (Willow Creek Community Church)

2011-06-20T21:42:00.005-05:00

Excited at the prospect of catching some fish!

Freezing cold after FALLING IN the pond! (I guess he really WAS excited!)

My friend's amazing daughter who has a huge heart for kids with special needs! She hand wrote notes inviting her classmates with special needs to the derby AND volunteered! Love this girl!

Phoenix's wonderful and adorable aide at church. She volunteers weekly and sometimes twice a week for Phoenix. She and her friends also teach cheerleading to kids with Down syndrome and raised money to buy their uniforms. "The Gems" have numerous performances throughout the year.

Rio's first movie- RIO, of course!

2011-06-01T15:04:00.003-05:00

This was both Phoenix’s and Rio’s first time to the movie theater. I obnoxiously cheered every time they said “Rio” and I will probably download the songs that mentioned his name.

A new tradition

2011-06-01T14:52:00.005-05:00

Our 1st Annual Last Day of School Tradition- Dairy Queen! While it has been unseasonably cool even for spring, that did not stop us from walking to our neighborhood DQ and enjoying some dipped ice cream cones. It was only the end of their first year of preschool, but why not start some family traditions? Lucky baby brother, only 1, got join in too!

Rio's First Day of School

2010-11-01T21:58:00.005-05:00

So the Nystad brothers are going to school together, taking the bus together and their classrooms are across from each other. This was such a sweet moment to witness! I wish I could have spied on them at school. I wish I could have seen them walk down that hall together.

Rio is attending Phoenix's school because he has some speech and developmental delays. It's kind of funny that I never ever worried about Rio's development. I figured that he was just learning at his own pace; it is Phoenix who we have to worry about! I think that all Rio needs is a boost (but, if not, that is fine too) and I am so thankful that he's able to receive the help he needs.

Sad

2010-10-14T22:11:00.003-05:00

I'm sad that I can't blog everyday this month like I had committed to. Life is just pulling me in every direction.

Thank you to those of you who follow my blog and the Down Syndrome Awareness campaign 31 for 21.

Isn't It Ironic

2010-10-11T23:48:00.001-05:00

by Professor Jerome Lejeune, Discoverer of the gene for Down syndrome

"Many years ago, my father was a Jewish physician in Braunau, Austria. On a particular day, two babies had been delivered by one of his colleagues. One was a fine, healthy boy with a strong cry. His parents were extremely proud and happy. The other was a little girl, but her parents were extremely sad, for she was a mongoloid [Down syndrome] baby. I followed them both for almost fifty years. The girl grew up, living at home, and was finally destined to be the one who nursed her mother through a very long and lingering illness after a stroke. I do not remember her name. I do, however, remember the boy's name. He died in a bunker in Berlin. His name was Adolf Hitler."

Note: This story is almost assuredly apocryphal. I am leaving it here because even though it probably isn't true, it does express a truth. That truth is that we never know what our children will become. A healthy baby can grow up be a murderer while a baby with a chromosomal abnormality can grow up to be a loving and loved person. On the TV show, Touched by an Angel an episode featured a couple who found out that their unborn child had Down syndrome. The couple were sitting in a diner and the father was talking about what he wanted for his son and why he wanted his wife to have an abortion. A young man walked in wearing a letter jacket from the local high school and when the father sees him he says that he wants his son to grow up to be like that young man. With that, the young man pulls a gun out and robs the diner.

from http://www.downsyn.com/index.php

Uncle Scott

2010-10-10T21:44:00.004-05:00

This is my one and only brother who is 9 years older than me. Many of my friends have never even met him. In the past he has wanted NOTHING to do with his family. My parents could call him every day for 14 days straight and he wouldn't even think to call back. He'd change phone numbers and never tell us, so my parents would hunt him down and show up at his work. And then when we did finally force him to hang out with us he'd act like we were bothering him if we attempted to make conversation with him! In my heart of hearts, these family gatherings hurt. They sucked. I hated what my brother's behavior did to me and, even worse, my parents, who would drop everything to do some ridiculous favor for their son just for a moment with him.

OK, after all that, I will say that he is a decent guy. If need be, he'll go to bat for his friends and family and he's an incredible tennis coach. I love that when I played on one of his teams and we made to the finals, he paid, out of his pocket, for a limo to drive us to the finals!!! It was cool! (And we won!)

But the coolest thing is that, as of late, he's not disgusted by us!!! He will actually come to my parents house and hang out all day doing nothing but just hanging out! We don't even invite him every time. Sometimes he just comes...and it's Rio who loves it the most!

Rio has really latched on to Scott. He loves Scott's Ford Mustang especially. And now he includes Scott's name in his plans. For example, he loves to list who is "taking the train to Chicago" and who is "going to Gigi's Playhouse". He says things like this before he goes to sleep. Maybe he's make the next day's plans???

So here are some pictures of my sons spending time with their Uncle Scott.

If People with DS Ruled the World

2010-10-08T23:31:00.007-05:00

I received this article upon Phoenix's birth. It was written by he Director of Psychosocial services at the Adult Down Syndrome Center in Park Ridge, Illinois, in 2005. I know it is long, but it is worth reading at least some parts of it!

Here is a link to the original. (May be easier on your eyes?)

What would happen if people with DS ruled the world?

If people with Down syndrome ruled the world:

Affection, hugging and caring for others would make a big comeback.

Despite the fact that my family was not terribly affectionate, I have had a crash course in hugging at the Center. I am confident that if people with Down syndrome ran the world, everyone would become very accustomed to the joys of hugging. Fortunately for me, I had a head start. My wife is a native of Argentina, and I got some intense exposure to hugging when I landed in her country and found there were 6000 members of her family waiting to be hugged as we got off the plane.

All people would be encouraged to develop and use their gifts for helping others.

In our world, too often people with Down syndrome are “DONE FOR” by others, when in fact they are great givers. If they ran the world, their ability to minister to others would not be wasted.

People would be refreshingly honest and genuine.

People with Down syndrome are nothing if not straightforward and unpretentious. As the expression goes, “what you see is what you get.” When you say to people with Down syndrome, “You did a good job,” most will answer simply and matter-of-factly, “Yes, I did.”

We believe, too, that a stuffy high society would probably not do well in the world of Down syndrome.

However, we believe that BIG dress up dances would flourish. People with Down syndrome love dressing up and dancing at big shindigs. They have a ball, and ...can they dance! (and by the way, who needs a date... “Just dance”).

Most people we have met with Down syndrome also love weddings. This should not be a big surprise. They love getting dressed up, being with family and friends, having good food, and, of course, dancing until the wee hours of the morning. (Many people love it so much, they will chase the band down at the end of the night, begging them to continue.) Perhaps, too, part of the reason they love weddings so much is not just because of the food and dancing, but because in many cases the rules against hugging are temporarily suspended. This may give people a little piece of what I experienced in Argentina. Whoa! Can you imagine what the world would be like with so much affection unleashed?

People engaged in self talk would be considered thoughtful and creative. Self talk rooms would be reserved in offices and libraries to encourage this practice.

People with Down syndrome have a reputation for “talking to themselves.” When conducted in a private space, self talk serves many adaptive purposes.

It is a wonderful means to ponder ideas and to think out loud. It allows people to review events that occurred in the course of their day. It allows people to solve problems by talking themselves through tasks. It allows them to plan for future situations. It is also helpful in allowing people to express feelings and frustrations, particularly if they have difficulty expressing their feelings to others. There is even evidence that athletes who do not have Down syndrome use self talk to motivate themselves. Certainly people without Down syndrome talk to their computer (particularly when it crashes), and likewise many people talk out loud when driving in Chicago. (Of course they may also make odd gestures as well; not recommended if long life is one of your ambitions.)

Order and Structure would rule

We have heard that many people with Down syndrome are stubborn and compulsive. Now, I know what many of you are thinking...“Did you really have to bring that up?” I’m sorry, but—we do. What we hear is that quite a few people have nonsensical rituals and routines. They can get stuck on behaviors that can drive family members a little crazy.

Despite the irritations, there are also many benefits to these “obsessive compulsive tendencies.” We actually have termed these tendencies “Grooves” because people tend to follow fairly set patterns, or “grooves,” in their daily activities.

What are the benefits of Grooves? Many people with Down syndrome are very careful with their appearance and grooming, which is especially important since they often stand out because of their physical features. Grooves also increase independence because most people are able to complete home and work tasks reliably when these tasks are part of their daily routine. (And while they are not fast ... they are very precise.) For many with Down syndrome, grooves serve as a way to relax. Some people repeat a favorite activity in a quiet space, such as writing, drawing, puzzles, needlepoint, etc. Grooves also serve as a clear and unambiguous statement of choice (very important for people with language limitations). This may even be a way for teens with Down syndrome to define their own independence without getting into the same rancorous conflicts with parents as many other teens.

So given what we know about people with Down syndrome and grooves, how would they use this to run the world? Here is how:

Schedules and calendars would be followed.

Trains & planes would run on time.

Lunch would be at 12:00. Dinner at 6:00.

Work time would be work time.

Vacation would be vacation.

At the Center, our receptionist, Shirley, will often have people at her desk pointing to the clock or their watches. Obviously, she hears about it when we don’t take people back at their appointment time, but she also found that some people refuse to go back early: “Nope I am not going at 9:45, my appointment is at 10:00,” nor does going over into the lunch period work. I am sure all of you have similar stories.

But there is much, much more:

People would be expected to keep their promises.

Last minute changes would be strongly discouraged (if not considered rude and offensive).

Places would be neat, clean, and organized (not just bedrooms, but cities, countries, the whole world).

Lost and founds would go out of business (even chaotic appearing rooms have their own sense of order).

The “grunge look” would be out, way out.

“Prep” (but not pretentious) would be very big.

In the world of Down Syndrome, there would be a great deal more tolerance for:

Repeating the same phrase or question

Use of the terms “fun” and “cleaning” in the same sentence

Closing doors or cabinets that are left ajar (even in someone else’s house)

Arranging things until they are “Just so.”

Despite their compulsions and grooves, people with Down syndrome rarely have the really ‘bad habits’ that so many of us have. In fact, out of approximately 3000 people we have seen at the clinic, we have not seen any drug addicts or gamblers and just two alcoholics and a very small number of smokers. However, we think that pop may be a common addiction in the world of Down syndrome, and of course some people are incurable savers and hoarders of just about everything, but especially paper products and writing utensils. Because of this, I could see maybe a Betty Ford Center for pop addicts and extreme paper hoarding.

The words “hurry” and “fast” would be not be uttered in polite society. “Plenty of time” would take their place.

At the Center, we frequently hear about pace, or how fast or slow people move. Quite often these issues are discussed in disparaging terms by harried and frustrated family members. In this world, people with Down syndrome have a reputation for having two speeds, slow and slower.

Therefore, in the world of Down Syndrome:

Our current mode of dealing with time, also known as the “Rat race” (or rushing around like our hair is on fire), would not survive.

Here and now would command a great deal more respect than it currently does.

Stopping to smell the roses would not be just a cliché.

Work would be revered, no matter what kind, from doing dishes to rocket science.

We have consistently seen respect and devotion to work by people with Down syndrome. This is such a strong characteristic for many that they don’t want to stay home from work even if feeling ill. Perhaps more importantly, they value any kind of work.

Therefore, if people with Down syndrome ran the world:

Speed would be far less important than doing the job right.

Work would be everyone’s right, not a privilege.

However, we think there would probably be no work conducted during the time that “Wheel of Fortune” is on TV.

All instruction would include pictures to aid visual learners.

Many studies have shown that individuals with Down syndrome have deficits in auditory memory. If they cannot remember verbal instruction, they may be considered oppositional or less competent in school, home, or work environments. Despite this, they have exceptional visual memory-they are visual learners. If they see something once, they can usually repeat it. They also have an exceptional memory for facts and figures of interest (favorite celebrities, movies, music, sports teams, etc).

If people with Down syndrome ran the world:

School and work sites would have picture, written, and verbal instructions to accommodate different learning styles.

Counselors would be able to use visual mediums to help solve problems.

What About News?

If people with Down syndrome ran the world:

Weather would be the only essential news item

News would be more local (“A new McDonalds just opened up,” or “A dance tonight,” etc.). After all, what is more important than that?

What About Bad News?

If people with Down syndrome ran the world, would there be wars or murders? We don’t think so! There may be too many McDonalds but definitely not the wars or murders we have in our “civilized societies.”

What About “Behaviors”...

...and terms such as (the ever popular) “Incident reports,” “Outbursts,” “Unprovoked outbursts” (one of our all time favorites), and of course “Non compliance”?

We believe that in the world of Down Syndrome, anyone writing “incident reports” would have to go through sensitivity training, which would consist of someone following them around writing down everything they did wrong. Brian Chicoine and I both figure that we would have been on major psychotropic medications long ago if we had people writing up incident reports on us.

We have found that most people with Down syndrome are very sensitive to expressions of anger by others. I imagine they would do all they could to help reduce and solve conflicts between people.

Therefore if people with DS ran the world:

Anger would only be allowed in special sound proof rooms.

Trained negotiators would be available to everyone to help deal with any conflicts.

The word “non compliant” would not be used (except as a very rude comment). It would be replaced by “assertive,” as in “he or she is being assertive today.”

What About Self Expression?

Art and music appreciation would be BIG.

People would have time to work on paintings and other art projects.

Acting and theatrical arts would be encouraged for all.

Dancing

You probably would not hear a great deal about exercise, but you may hear a phrase like, “Dancing tonight ... absolutely.”

The President’s commission on physical fitness would probably recommend dancing at least 3 times per week.

People would be encouraged to get married several times to have more weddings for more music and dancing.

Richard Simmons and John Travolta would be national heroes.

Music

Elvis, The Beatles, and the Beach Boys would still be number 1 on the hit parade (Music of the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s would be BIG)

Musicals would be very, very, very, big (such as “Grease,” and “The Sound of Music”)

John Travolta would be the biggest star.

Television

Classic TV hits would be very BIG and take up at least half the TV schedules.

“I Love Lucy,” “Happy Days,” “The Three Stooges,” etc. would be very BIG.

Wrestling would be very Big.

“Life Goes On” would also be very Big and replayed regularly.

Movies

There would be fewer movies, but they would be replayed over and over.

Movie theaters would allow people to talk out loud to tell what happens next.

No Secret Agents

People would not hurt the feelings of others and they would also not lie or keep secrets.

Therefore there probably would be no secret service agents, spies, or terrorists.

The purpose of this article is to give back some of what we have learned to the families and people with Down syndrome who have come to the Adult Down Syndrome Center and who have been so giving and open with us. If people understand more of the special talents people with Down syndrome have, they may be more able to help them use and develop these talents to improve their lives. We also wanted to reassure families of younger children with Down syndrome who are concerned about their child’s future that there is much to be optimistic about.

The Down Syndrome Creed- Anonynmous

2010-10-07T21:54:00.008-05:00

My face may be different
But my feelings the same
I laugh and I cry
And I take pride in my gains

I was sent here among you
To teach you to love
As God in the heavens
Looks down from above

To Him I'm no different
His love knows no bounds
It's those here among you
In cities and towns

That judge me by standards
That man has imparted
But this family I've chosen
Will help me get started

For I'm one of the children
So special and few
That came here to learn
The same lessons as you

That love is acceptance
It must come from the heart
We all have the same purpose
Though not the same start

The Lord gave me life
To live and embrace
And I'll do it as you do
But at my own pace

Seriously!!!

2010-10-06T21:08:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

Literacy and Down Syndrome

2010-10-05T22:01:00.011-05:00

These two manilla envelopes hold a world of possibilities! They teach reading to kids with Down Syndrome, and we all know the importance of being able to read. When I ask for donations to Gigi's Playhouse this is how it is spent. Sturdy, personalized laminated books are made for kids with DS who are learning to read!

A volunteer spends a half-hour with Phoenix every other week teaching him how to read. We also practice at home. (Phoenix's little brother Rio is even getting a head start on reading because he always wants to do the activities with us!) I just leave the envelopes out and Phoenix will climb whatever he has to in order to get his hand on these babies!

This is his family book. This is obviously his favorite book! He loves looking at pictures of himself and his family. It is easy to get him motivated about reading when he and his family are the topic.

It is helping with his spoken language too. Today he said "I see." It was amazing!

Right now he is matching words, so learning by sight. It is working! He knows what the words mean, if I say, "Give me Tiago", for example, he can choose correctly from a large group of words.

This book is about school. He also has books made for him on the topics of sports and food.

Here is a clip about Gigi's Playhouse. At 1:44 you can see a picture of Phoenix from when he was 1 year old posted outside the Playhouse. At 3:16 you can hear more about the literacy program.

SO PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO GIGI'S PLAYHOUSE by attending the Gala in February and donating to TEAM PHOENIX for the 5K in June! Or any other time of the year. 2011 calendars are also sale.

There are still kids who want to learn to read but don't have a tutor. Donate your time as a literacy tutor.

Training is provided and sessions run about 1 hour every other week. Email hoffmanestates@gigisplayhouse.org

Thank you for reading this, for supporting our cause and seeing the full potential in people with Down Syndrome.

14 years

2010-10-04T22:32:00.002-05:00

Today was our 14th wedding anniversary. We didn't celebrate it though. We are in a deep, dark valley right now. I don't know if it has ever been this bad before.

Did you know that the divorce rates are higher when a couple has a child with special needs? I don't really believe that it has any effect on the marriage more so than any other part of life, and I don't even know how well supported the findings are. Still, I definitely DO NOT want to contribute to that statistic!

So no congratulations this year. Only prayers. Thank you.

Apple pickin'

2010-10-03T21:24:00.008-05:00

I clearly remember going apple picking in kindergarden. I was so proud because my mom was a chaperone!!! So I was elated when a friend of ours invited us to meet him and his new wife for a day of apple picking. This should definitely become a family tradition. Since last weekend, we have made apple cinnamon oatmeal, baked two pies and eaten plenty of apples.
Here is the pie recipe we've been using. It is super kid-friendly, I think, and very little clean up...and delicious! Our next adventure will be pumpkin picking and, you guessed it, pumpkin pie!
1/2 cup apple juice, orange juice or white wine (seriously delicious!)
1/2 cup white or brown sugar
1/2 cup butter (one stick)
6 Golden Delicious apples - peeled, cored and sliced
1/2 cup white or brown sugar
3-4 tablespoons cornstarch (i doubled the amount and used all-purpose flour as a substitute)
2 (9 inch) unbaked pie crusts
*try adding cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla if you'd like!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Combine juice, 1/2 cup sugar and butter in a sauce pan and heat until melted. Add the apples and cook until fruit is tender.
Combine the other 1/2 cup of sugar with the cornstarch. Stir into the fruit mixture, then cook until thickened. Cool then pour into the pie shell. Cover with the top crust and seal.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) until golden brown.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Apple-Pie-II/Detail.aspx?prop31=1

At Old Navy

2010-10-02T18:36:00.004-05:00

Something about hats just makes them dance!

Mirrors too!

Next time we don't have anything to do I'm taking the kids to Old Navy. Wow, they had so much fun! And did you know that they have interactive displays there??? (Well, my kids make everything interactive, even a few preppy dressed manikins and their dog!) Poor Tiago did not join in the fun. He was strapped in the stroller!

CODE YELLOW

2010-10-01T15:17:00.006-05:00

Two Perfect Little Angels!

We Can Do No Harm!

The Reality- Double Trouble!

Off topic- This is what Phoenix had gotten out of the fridge and planned to have for breakfast!

I found out what a CODE YELLOW was last week. I took the three boys to Target. I figured we had a large gap of time and I had very few items to purchase so I figured this would be a successful trip despite being outnumbered 3 to 1! Phoenix and Rio were very excited about the seating arrangement of the cart (they could sit next to each other) and Tiago was just as excited about sitting in the basket part! There was one problem, the straps kept coming undone so Phoenix and Rio were got loose! They were actually very well behaved. I was impressed. When they strayed too far from me they came back and had fun playing and laughing amongst the clothes rack. And then suddenly Phoenix was gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rio and I thought we heard his "Dah, dah, dah" but we couldn't find him. I found a sales associate and they radioed over the walkie talkies "Code Yellow", which means they lock all the doors (so that no one leaves with your child) and do a sweep of the store aisle-by-aisle. The lock down part helped me not freak out. They didn't find him right away, but eventually he was found 2 feet away from where I had been standing looking at the clearance rack. He was hiding between the boxes of car seats!!!

Even crazier was that as soon as he was found, RIO TOOK OFF! And they had to call out another "Code Yellow". Now I was completely embarrassed of the behavior of my kids. Luckily, we found him almost right away. What was he doing? Hiding. WOW! I'm amazed at how quickly Rio made the connection "I hide. I get attention."

From now on, before we enter the store, two rules are reviewed.

1- Stay close to Mama and/or Papa.

2- No hiding!

Ode to My Babies' Daddy

2010-09-08T22:19:00.004-05:00

Ben's list of concerts includes KISS, Iron Maiden and Metallica. But he claims that The Wiggles show beats them all because of the joy it brought to Phoenix!

YESTERDAY I was thinking, Well, I guess I'll only being parenting 2 of my 3 children! Phoenix just adores his dad and most of the time doesn't want anything to do with me! (OK, I'm exaggerating! But the phrase "What am I? Chopped liver?" often goes through my head!) It is so sweet to see the affection Phoenix has for his dad, and vice versa. I am constantly reminded of how distraught Ben was over the Down syndrome diagnosis and how that pain has been turned into something so beautiful. Phoenix was a complete mama's boy until the birth of Rio. Then he had no choice but to go to his dad if he wanted undivided attention! Nowadays, I am ALMOST jealous of their relationship! They have a special bond that few will come close to replicating.

TODAY I felt like I won't be parenting ANY of my 3 children, because I'm a girl and I just can't keep up! I can't compete with how high Dad can throw, how far he can kick, his backflips on the trampoline, his energy level or his goofiness! So I think I spent most of the day doing housework while Ben got to play...and I was thankful.

I am thankful that my boys have such a good dad. None of us are perfect parents, not Ben either, but he does a great job of investing in his boys and balancing playfulness with parenting. His boys will always know that they are loved, made evident by the amount of time Dad spends with the them and all the hugs, kisses...and junk food (LOL! since Mom is always saying NO! LATER!) they receive from him. Because when Ben does screw up as a parent, which we all will do, he'll have built of a foundation of love on which to deal with those mistakes.

Good job, Ben!

Never Let School Get in the Way of an Education

2010-09-01T14:49:00.004-05:00

Phoenix giving a hearty "AHOY" with his maties!

Adorable Rio, although he prefers the adjective "cool".

Yummmm. A Chicago-style hot dog!

Curly fries for "Curly".

Just a few of the things I found in Tiago's mouth!

When Pheonix plays hookie it is always with the best intentions!!! Last Friday he took the day off, although at one point in the morning he was standing out at the bus stop (our driveway) in his underwear and backpack, and we headed downtown to see the Tall Ships (historic sailing vessels from around the world, we just called them all pirate ships though!) at Navy Pier.

Phoenix's first day of school

2010-08-18T07:25:00.004-05:00

Today will be Phoenix's first day of school. In a few hours, at 11:47am to be exact, the "short bus" will pull up to our driveway and whisk Phoenix off to a special education pre-school. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa and his two little brothers will be cheering him on as he steps on that bus, recording the moment with our cameras and mapping out his life according to our hopes and dreams for him. Yet here I am thinking about the RETARD BUS.

Let me start by saying that I truly am ok with having a child with special needs. No pity needs to be given. But sometimes I'm just slapped in the face with how I was before Phoenix. I don't think I personally made fun of the "'tards", but I'm sure that I laughed along with whoever was cracking the jokes and I definitely did not stand up to anyone who was making fun of them. One can chalk it up to "kids being kids" or that it was "harmless" (yeah, right!!!!) but I stood on the sidelines and let it happen. I know part of it was "the fear of the unknown/people different from me", but it is my indifference and apathy that haunt me. Why don't I understand or feel empathy until something happens to me personally (i.e. having my own child with special needs)?

Today will be an exciting day. We got a great deal on a DIEGO backpack and Phoenix will be a stud in his blue button-down pilot shirt, navy blue POLO shorts and his new navy blue CROCS. His tan face, curly hair and frequent smile will charm everyone he meets. But there is a lesson here that I wish I had learned as kid- to love, respect and give dignity to ALL people (John 13:34-35).

Welcome to the Club

2010-06-14T09:05:00.005-05:00

Our super star riding high on Luke's shoulders.

A portion of TEAM PHOENIX.

MY CLUB.

We all like the sense of belonging. For example, I enjoy the comradery found in belonging as a mother, a mother to a child with special needs, one training for a marathon, a teacher (granted an unemployed one!) and ex-patriot (formerly). This past Sunday I was deeply grateful for the sense of belonging found in the Down syndrome community.

I didn't start out being so appreciative. We did not know Phoenix had Down syndrome until he was born. I handled it very well, thanks to loving support from hospital staff, friends and family, but I was not eager to be part of the "parent-to-a-child-with-Down-syndrome club" nor was I going to act like best friends with strangers just because we both happened to have a child with DS. LOL! How I feared the unknown! And how my attitude has changed! I accredit that largely to Gigi's Playhouse.

This past Sunday, as I pulled into the packed parking lot where the 7th annual Gigi's Playhouse Down Syndrome Awareness Run/Walk was being held, tears filled my eyes. I AM SO GLAD TO BE PART OF THIS CLUB! That phrase was repeated in my thoughts all day. I was so thankful to be sore from running and walking for this cause, to be drained from socializing with so many inspiring people and to be worn-out from everyday life with a child with Down syndrome, yet replenished and excited for next year's event. No, I didn't ask to be part of this club, but it is so much better than I could ever have imagined.

3 weeks in the US

2010-05-21T08:40:00.004-05:00

I have been home in the US now for 3 weeks. It has been a whirlwind so far but I think things are finally about to calm down.

Things I done:

- gotten a job (waitressing)

- purchased a car (2000 Nissan Altima)

- applied for Phoenix to start pre-school

- visited Gigi's Playhouse Down Syndrome Awareness Center 3 times

- driven to Minnesota and back

- been to McDonald's Playland more times than I'd like to admit

- visited Wal-mart almost on a daily basis

- gotten a hair cut

- bought bunk beds

- basked in sunny 80F/26C temperatures

- received lots of advice from my parents in all areas of my life

- given lots of advice to my parents in all areas of their life

Things I have not done yet:

- unpacked

- applied for teaching jobs because there aren't any!!!!!!!! (ok, there are some but not where I want them...I will apply for those though!)

- applied for Ben's green card

- gotten a cellphone

- been to a Cubs game

- eaten deep dish pizza

- seen enough of my friends :(

- kept in touch with the friends I left behind :(

- renamed my blog

Our Playground

2010-04-25T05:47:00.003-05:00

The coast isn´t only for summertime! (Vardø)

One of the boys´more expensive toys.

Can´t leave the baby out of the adventure.

Trampolines aren´t only for summertime either! In their snowsuits!

A hike and some very organic swords.

I am quite insistant when it comes to the boys being outside everyday. Fresh air, exercise, and vitamin D. The great outdoors has been our playground.

A Laughing Day

2010-04-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

I always make this face when I play with Legos!

I´m the tough one- Monster Garage cap and Tigger the Tiger shirt!

I am the baby and can do no wrong! I´m almost always this happy!

I have a friend Vona who is a wonderful mama to 2 boys under 4. And they have Laughing Days. That means that Mama decides to not get upset, but laugh at anything that happens all day! Me, I´m always drowning in my self-criticism, anger, impatience, etc. And many mornings I wake up frustrated and try to cheer myself/all of us up in order to have a Laughing Day but I just can´t let things go that easily. However, Sunday we had an unofficial Laughing Day (thanks Sara!).

First, let me say that Ben was gone Friday to Monday on a boy´s trip to Murmansk, Russia (which would be the equivalent of going to Tiajuana, if you know what I mean). That is fine though, I´ve gotten some trips too. Anyways, being solely responsible for all 3 kids for a number of days does not always bring out the best in me! On Friday Tiago refused to nap which ruins any day! and on Saturday, for some reason, I thought taking all 3 kids, plus Phoenix´s friend, ice fishing would be a good idea! Ok, it took like 2 hours to get everyone ready! It was cold, windy and I was crabby after taking 2 hours to get ready! And Tiago would not let me put him down for a second without screaming! And the smoke from the fire kept blowing in our faces, Phoenix and Rio just kept interrupting the ice fishing (we were with a group of adults) and throwing snow in their holes, and...you get the picture. Finally, through clenched teeth, I said, "After we´re done eating these hot dogs we´re leaving!". It was an exhausting day and I fell asleep with the kids at 8pm.

After all that fresh air on Saturday I did not feel guilty staying inside Sunday and watching cartoons all morning. We painted and played with play-doh too. We just hung out. It was great. The unofficial LAUGHING DAY started when in the evening we walked to a party. The sun was shining and it was a BALMY 4C/45F! My boys were in their snowsuits, matching striped "summer" hats (really thin winter hats) and snow boots. But there was a lot of ice on the road and they kept slipping and sliding on their butts and they were just so clumsy and I laughed and laughed at them! (Cruel, I know!) But they just kept doing it! We all laughed! They found puddles to jump in too. My boys are also funny because when they hear a car they freeze and start waving at the car for like a minute before the car even drives by. It is so cute! At the party we sat with another mom, who´s husband was out at sea, and her 3 girls. So we were 2 adults and 6 kids! Phoenix and Rio of course spend most of the party touching all the desserts. Actually, Phoenix likes to put his WHOLE HAND on cakes, not just a single finger! Ok, I didn´t laugh at that one! We saw an army tank and I kept saluting and saying silly stuff like, "Sir, yes, sir", and they thought I was hilarious! We just laughed about everything that evening, even when Rio told me he ate horse poop!

Life isn´t perfect but it would be closer to perfect if we had more Laughing Days!

Elin´s passing

2010-04-15T14:27:00.004-05:00

Elin committed suicide and was buried on Tuesday. I didn´t really know Elin. She was Ben´s dad´s youngest brother´s ex. They had two daughters together. I remember that she wore a red velvet dress to our wedding and that her ex´s toast to us was, "Don´t Marry, Be Happy"! She didn´t have the best reputation according to the family. I think that if you met her in a bar you´d say, "That b#$%& is crazy" and stop talking to her, especially if she was under the influence. Her two children were actually wards of the state, taken away from her by DCFS/barnevern.

Yet I have been so touched by her death. Each time I am reminded it brings a deep sadness to my heart and nearly tears to my eyes. It is so terrible that she believed that this world would be better off without her, no one would care that she was gone, that her daughters would be better off without a mother, that she thought she was so worthless that she actually went through with it. Or who knows the lies that she told herself and believed.

But I GET IT. I get those thoughts. Since the birth of my third son I feel like I have been living in a black hole of despair. I mean it. It has sucked big time. When I visited my friends in Tromsø and I later heard that they were "worried" about me I told that they had reason to be. I really GET why people cut or become bulimic, why Britney Spears shaved her head and why people don´t ask for help (OH WAIT...THEY USUALLY DO BUT PEOPLE DON´T LISTEN, THEY JUST GIVE THEIR OWN ADVICE!...ok, the capital letters makes it sound like I´m really angry at someone but this is a reminder to myself as well as others that we could all be better at listening and affirming.)

So while I GET IT, I haven´t cut, thrown up or shaved my head or committed suicide, like Elin. It saddens me that while we were both mothers, both with struggles, that I am the only one still living.

Edited: Sorry if I alarmed anyone. With the return of the sun, good friends and God´s grace, I now see past the despair. Although like many of us, I still have my days! This post was really about how my experiences have allowed to be more empathetic.

"Dots, No Dots"

2010-04-14T07:15:00.005-05:00

Ok, so I know that he really just says "N...Dah" and "Ya...Dah" but I still think this is a HUGE deal!!! He´s actually communicating using spoken language! And I wasn´t even trying to get him to say anything. We were just separating the puzzle pieces and often times I DO say "Dots, No Dots" but this time I didn´t so HE DID!!! I have noticed so many more "words" this week including green truck, toot toot chugga chugga and shake. This is soooooooo exciting!!!

I have recently started using strategies from the book Play to Talk. For example, I talk a lot LESS and WAIT a lot longer for him to respond in any verbal way, then I imitate his response and try to keep the dialogue going as long as possible. I must admit, it is so FUN because he loves that I "speak" his language and it allows him opportunities to practice verbalizing and learns that making sounds gets a reaction. I highly recommend this book because the strategies are easily adaptable and its all about respecting where you´re child is at instead of constantly thinking about where they SHOULD be. Check out the website.

Famous Phoenix

2010-04-13T14:54:00.005-05:00

by Gøran Nielsen

by Inge Wahl

The local papparazzi are always after Phoenix! And I LOVE IT! These are just two of the photos I recently received! I think both are great photographers but it does help when the subject is my beautiful Phoenix! Wherever we go people I don´t even know say, "Hi Phoenix!"- the grocery store, the swimming pool, a local event, EVERYWHERE. He was even invited to a cabin for spring break while the rest of us stayed back in town! Yup, he´s famous (at least in this tiny, isolated, depopulated fishing village on the edge of the earth in arctic Norway)!

Sleeping Outside

2010-03-22T16:01:00.001-05:00

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP THREE

My friends in the US never really believe me when I tell them that in Norway the babies take their naps outside in their strollers, even in the winter. Here is Tiago sleeping on the back deck. Even in the daycares the strollers are lined up outside during nap time.

STEP ONE- EVERYONE in Norway knits! So when your baby is born they usually receive an adorable hand-knit outfit. Tiago´s is a hand-me-down but you can see much cuter outfits herefor example.

STEP TWO- Put the baby in the sleeping bag (usually made of warm lambswool or down) in the stroller.

STEP THREE- Place netting over the stroller to keep out the snow and wild animals and then a rain cover. Roll the stroller outside, double-check that the baby monitor is on and let your little one enjoy a nap out in the fresh air!

M.I.A.

2010-03-11T07:16:00.005-06:00

I have been seriously missing in action lately despite the fact that I have plenty posts written in my head. I hope to be able to share more about our life soon, but here are the reasons that I´ve been MIA.

1- My husband has become a hard-working, fish-stinking dock laborer for the short capelin fish season. This was his schedule the past 3 days:

Monday- 7am- 11pm

Tuesday- 7am- 3pm then a 12-hour shift starting at 8pm

Wednesday- finished his 12-hour shift at 8am and then went back to work 2pm-9pm

So hubby is not home very often making me quite exhausted at the end of the day. What should I do then? Grocery shop, work out, clean, fill out job applications, blog, sleep??? You get the picture!

2- My heart if heavy with indecision. We have been living in Båtsfjord temporarily with a plan to move this "spring". We´re leaning towards moving back to Chicago but we haven´t totally committed ourselves yet and it is frustrating to go back-and-forth and to doubt each other. Plus, we´re being encouraged to stay here and I get emotionally exhausted trying to "defend" why I want to move from here while at the same time not hurting anyone´s feelings.

Overall, I want to be more thankful because when I pause for the moment

L I F E I S G O O D!

Sharing Phoenix

2010-02-08T04:22:00.003-06:00

The Phoenix we know and love!

Here in Norway the state offers something called avlastning, which translates literally as "relief". All Norwegians have a right to avlastning but families with a special needs child are greatly encouraged to take advantage of it. The topic is brought up every time Phoenix goes for a check-up, Have you started with avlastning? We have always been hesitant about it; we never felt like we NEEDED it and I think we were somewhat offended by the thought of "relief" from our child. We love Phoenix, enjoy spending time with him and he is our responsibility! And I even felt like they were saying that we don´t spend enough time with the other kids because Phoenix demands so much attention, like he´s just work or something. While those were assumptions, I still feel parts of those assumptions are true, that there is some internal change that must take place in Norway´s attitude towards the disabled.

At our most recent "early intervention" meeting we were again encouraged to consider avlastning. Our response was that we haven´t taken advantage of it because we don´t know anyone that fit our criteria. Soon after that meeting one of the people attending offered to be our "reliever". She has a husband and two young girls and a cat and she was already excited about taking Phoenix snowmobiling at their cabin...and that is when my attitude toward "being relieved of Phoenix" changed.

I am choosing to see avlastning as awareness. Of course it is AWESOME for Phoenix to be the little brother and get tons of attention and do things he loves like snowmobiling. And it was nice to just have the two younger kids and more one-on-one time with Rio. But what excites me the most is the impact that Phoenix will have on this family. That two adults and two young girls will see a person with special needs as an individual who deserves respect and dignity. That someday when someone uses the word "retard" or makes fun of the disabled kid they will stand up for that individual, because they knew Phoenix, because he was a part of their lives and they liked having him around. It might sound strange, but I´ve always had this feeling that I need to SHARE Phoenix with the world. I need to share him because people need to be EXPOSED to him, to people different from themselves, to learn from him and to be stretched by him.

So we shared Phoenix with a wonderful family this weekend; moreover, we shared our dream of a world where all people are treated with respect and dignity.

American Idol audition

2010-01-25T06:07:00.004-06:00

When Rio was first born and I was struggling with life's transitions- going from one to two children, moving to a sunless place where we didn't know a soul and no special ed services for Phoenix- I was really discouraged. It was then that I found author Barbara Curtis, mom to 12 kids, 4 with Down syndrome. I read her blog and wrote her some desperate emails that she answered promptly and wisely, even though she didn't even know me! Her wisest words to me were that God doesn't call the equipped but equips the called.

Here is her daughter's audition for American Idol and some great press for the DS community.

LOSER!

2010-01-11T05:41:00.003-06:00

So I guess Phoenix is a "loser" because he has Downs. Yup, that's what we learned from the director of the daycare. Apparently a boy was asked why was crying and he responded that someone had called him a loser like Phoenix and then named the other boy in daycare with Downs. Hmmm. I'm almost more shocked that children so young use the word "loser" and then equate it with special needs. Is a "loser" someone who doesn't have verbal skills? I guess he could mean that Phoenix doesn't have a lot of friends. I mean, Phoenix probably doesn't get invited to play with the other kids. An adult usually has to be there to help him interact with others, namely because he doesn't have verbal skills and doesn't always understand the rules. Plus, Phoenix's idea of fun isn't always the same as a typical 4-year-old's. For example, when we play soccer with the boys Phoenix thinks it is fun just to steal the ball and hide it instead of kicking it back and forth. This is obviously annoying to Rio and even to me! I just wonder how the boy came to the conclusion that Phoenix and the other boy must be losers because they have Downs. Calling Phoenix "retarded" ALMOST seems more appropriate than calling him a loser.

I'm not teary-eyed and heart-broken about this. Of course it saddens me but I'm more like...and so begins the bullying. It is terrible that I just EXPECT that this is part of parenting a child with special needs...in a perfect world the popular kid would befriend Phoenix and thus the rest of the school would see Phoenix as this sweet, quirky human being who contributes his part to society and deserves just as much dignity and respect as anyone else. Do I expect Phoenix's younger brothers to protect him from such bullying? YES! Is that pressuring them? Or maybe they will be bullied because they have a brother with special needs and they'll come home crying that they wish Phoenix was normal. THESE kinds of thoughts do break my heart.

I guess the future is unsure no matter what kind of child you have, typical or non. Most people have heard the following speech, but I want to hold myself and our family to these standards. It seems like lately (probably a result of lack of sleep due to the baby) I am impatient and angry with Phoenix and not setting a loving example for Phoenix's siblings. Giving into those feelings and then taking them out on Phoenix is my sin. I have a lot to learn from this high schooler.

Babies, An Acquired taste

2010-01-05T13:24:00.005-06:00

n.
One that is unpleasant on immediate experience or is likeable only after being experienced repeatedly.

I was trying to explain to Ben what this expression meant and I told him it was like learning to like red wine or espresso. Am I comparing my relationship with my children to food items that need to be tasted a few times before you like them? Well, yes, at least the baby stage. I always said that I wanted my kids to pop out at age 2. Babies, no thank you. They don't do anything but cry, right? When people used to ask me if I wanted to hold their baby I always said no. Before Phoenix was born I had only held 2 babies in my life- one like 10 years prior and another one THE DAY BEFORE Phoenix was born (I truly believe that lingering baby smell is what started the labor!). So babies have never been my thing! I received a baby shower card which said, Thank God they don't come out as high schoolers. But since I've been a high school teacher I didn't think that sounded all that bad...and then came baby number three, Tiago.

I'm not dissing Phoenix or Rio. I'm just totally enamored with Tiago! He is after all, our last. More importantly, however, I think its the first time I actually know how to appreciate a baby now that I have been substantially exposed to them! This is what I'm thinking. With Phoenix, he was our first. We were clueless about babies AND Down Syndrome, which led to general parenting insecurities and worries, plus, having to "work" so much with Phoenix on his therapies. Baby number two, Rio, nearly ruined me! The transition from one to two (and moving to Norway, a new city in Norway, during the darkest time of the year, no Down Syndrome network, etc.). A friend and I seriously considered writing a book called, When 2 Feels Like 10, because we just couldn't believe that no one had warned us about this! (By the way, we both have 3 boys now.) Those were seriously the most depressing days of my life and it lasted months...and then came baby number three, Tiago.

Tiago is by no means a perfect baby. As a newborn he was awake all the time, had terrible gas and cried for hours, hated the car seat, nursed non-stop for hours, and still HATES sleeping at night. But, oh my gosh, I think he's the cutest thing in the whole wide world! I could hold him all day if I let myself. I think he's so handsome and so strong and I am just utterly and completely enamored by him...and, like red wine, I appreciate this baby .

No Sleep Till Brooklyn (or sleepLESS children)

2010-01-04T02:24:00.005-06:00

I want to blog but i have NO TIME! I have sleepLESS children. Phoenix is taking 3 hours to fall asleep (3 hours of putting him back in his bed), Rio has night wakings and don't even ask about 5-month-old Tiago. Grrrrrrrr.

But HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Officially Christmas???

2009-12-23T07:49:00.006-06:00

Being his father was Jehovah's Witness, my Norwegian husband has never celebrated Christmas nor have I experienced it here in Norway. Thus I don't completely have a hold on the season's traditions but here are some observations nonetheless.

Christmas is not just 1 day here. It is AT LEAST a month long.

- it starts the first Sunday in December when the first advent candle is lit

- there is a lot to get done- cleaning every nook and cranny of the house, changing the curtains and other decor because everything must be RED, baking the 7 types of cookies for Christmas dinner, building a gingerbread house, making an advent calendar for each child with a gift for each day (fun!!!), homemade pork and ham rolls, gløgg and so much more!!!

December 13

- Santa Lucia Day, only some Norwegians celebrate this while it is a must in Sweden...hey, any excuse to add light to this dark period is worth it!

December 23

- the fun begins

- this day actually has a name- Little Christmas Eve

- today many families decorate the tree (a real tree usually), they often have little Norwegian flags strung around it, and eat rice porridge (one lucky eater will get the almond and have a year of good luck), saving the leftovers for the following day

December 24

- other families decorate the tree on this day

- families gather for a big meal together consisting of steamed dried lamb ribs (pinnekjøtt), roasted fresh ham (ribbe) and rutabaga or lutefisk, dessert being the left over rice porridge whipped with cream and topped with a raspberry sauce

- in the evening gifts will be open

Dec 25 thru New Year's Eve

- Christmas continues...many people have off work so there are still Christmas dinners, parties, kid's activities, etc.

- Dec 25 is called the FIRST day of Christmas

- Dec 26 the SECOND day of Christmas

Jan 13

- you better have your lights and tree down by this day because Christmas is officially over!

My nightmare

2009-12-06T15:00:00.003-06:00

Since I'm the early bird of Ben and I, when Ben got up with Phoenix this morning I delighted in the chance to get some extra sleep. Sleep I got but it was marred by this nightmare.

I had invited a bunch of people over. They were flying in from all over the world. I just invited them without planning out anything. It was a Saturday when they started showing up. I was nursing and suddenly I was like, Shoot! I have to get to the store before 6pm because that is when they stop selling beer here in Norway!!! The liquor store (yes, you can only buy liquor/wine at a government owned store) was already closed and wouldn't open again until Wednesday (all true). But while the store where I could purchase beer was just across the street I couldn't get there because it was so icy and I just kept being blown away from the store by the strong wind (yep, its been really icy and windy here lately). When I finally got to the store it was after 6pm so I made my way to another store to buy food but I kept going up all these staircases and could never find the area where they sold groceries. I had to hurry up and get there because the shops close early on Saturdays and nothing is open on Sundays (like in reality). Even more true to life was Ben's reaction in the dream saying, I'm not going to help you. YOU invited them! (But in reality he would save my a** and for that I am grateful!).

When I woke up from the nightmare I decided it wasn't worth going back to sleep. Too real!

Life with Down Syndrome

2009-11-25T02:41:00.010-06:00

So the other day I was in the bathroom with all 3 boys changing Tiago's poopy diaper. Since I have 10 stitches on my knee cap I couldn't get up to turn on the water in the shower. In desperation as to not get poop all over the place, I asked Phoenix to turn it on and HE DID IT! It was so exciting!!! I was yelping and PRAISING him like crazy, "Great job! Thumbs up for following directions!". The whole thing almost brought tears to my eyes; I was so proud of him for being so helpful, responsible and for doing what I asked!

And then I just had to laugh and smile to myself and thank God, seriously, for giving me a child with Down syndrome. We get to be excited about the smallest things! I'm not saying that we have low expectations for Phoenix, but somehow some things are a big deal when Phoenix does them. Not only do we get to get excited a lot, we also get to be part of some pretty cool "clubs"- joining families with a child with DS and special needs in generals in supporting each other and sharing information. Additionally, we now know a plethera of therapists and have gained knowledge from them in areas we never thought of before! Most importantly, Phoenix provides us with opportunities to grow. He challenges us often in the areas of patience (grrrr...I am not always a willing student!), tolerance and human dignity and our own inhibitions.

I grow most when Phoenix acts with a total lack of inhibition. I love when Phoenix laughs really hard in public (the kid even laughs in his sleep!) and/or reaches out to strangers. In terms of laughing, the parent in me wants to tell him, "Use your inside voice", "Not so loud, please, we're on a bus!" because I can't say, "DON'T LAUGH SO HARD! THAT'S BAD MANNERS!". That sounds so ridiculous but I think on some level that is what I mean. I'm uncomfortable with someone just laughing their head off. Its socially abnormal and the fact that my child is doing it embarrasses me. And that is when I'm stretched! Why shouldn't we just have a good belly laugh session on the bus sometimes??? Regarding touching, again the parent in me wants to say, "Control yourself", "Don't touch strangers". But once at church they had this great message called Touch and how important it is, especially when breaking down our fears of the unknown/unfamiliar, for example, people who are handicapped, have special needs, a different ethnic background, whatever our fear is. After that message a woman I didn't know smiled to 2-month-old Phoenix (who had an oxygen cannula in his nose and an oxygen tank beside him) and he gave her a HUGE grin back and this was before he could even smile! She wrote me a letter and told me he had changed her life and that she knew he would continue changing lives. What encouragement for me! So, for the moment, I allow Phoenix to stretch me and stretch others by ignoring certain inhibitions.

I don't have that "perfect angel, sent from God, always happy" Down syndrome child (I doubt that stereotype really exists). He throws fits when he doesn't get his way, often wakes up the whole family at 5:30 am, is a picky eater and just wants to watch tv all the time (this one really gets me!). But in my opinion, I have the most lovable 4-year old son who enriches my family's life daily. Amen!

Motherhood in the Arctic

2009-11-15T14:23:00.007-06:00

On days when both Phoenix and Rio are in daycare I usually take a one-hour walk while Tiago naps in his stroller. I am so thankful for these moments- whether listening to my ipod, walking with another mom or experiencing an awesome sky like this.

This picture was taken at 12 NOON. And, yes, that is the sun SETTING! We haven't seen the sun for weeks and won't see it again until February. While the sun is still above the horizon we see only it's rays because of the mountains. Mørketiden (arctic darkness) is by far not my favorite time of the year, but the light it produces is amazing and unique.

When all the kids are home and not in daycare this can be our day:

Tiago starts wimpering which means it is naptime. Throw some hand-knit wool clothes on him, stuff him in his sheep skin sleeping bag and toss him in the stroller to sleep outside.
Try to motivate Rio and Phoenix to put on their hand-knit wool layer and then their snowsuit, mittens, hat, boots, etc. so we can go outside before it gets dark!!!
Get outside and again try to motivate them, this time to play together nicely.
At about this point Tiago has to start crying so I push him in the stroller while playing referee for Rio and Phoenix.
Get really frustrated and walk away from Rio and Phoenix. What do they do? Rio falls down a hill and I can't find him and Phoenix is sprawled out on the pavement staring into space.
Find the courage to try this again...Tiago falls back asleep, walk with Rio and Phoenix to the "park" (2 swing sets and a sea-saw) where Tiago starts crying again and the boys start arguing.
How does this end? I push Tiago in the stroller for about 30 minutes trying to get him back to sleep while Rio follows me crying "Mama" and Phoenix lays on his belly licking snow. AND I'M CRYING THE WHOLE TIME wondering what I'm doing wrong to make my kids behave like this???!!!

To make matters worse, DH cannot handle situations like this. No empathy. He just thinks I'm nuts to cry about something like this. And then we argue. And argue. Finally, we realize that with 3 kids and everyday life stuff we've put our relationship last and by the time we get to "us" there's no time left in the day or we're just too exhausted to put any effort into it or there's a kid in our bed and a mother-in-law in the living room.

So today when a discussion became a yelling match it actually felt good because we were COMMUNICATING! I felt like I hadn't heard DH's thoughts in ages! Conclusion, it starts at the top. If Mom and Dad are good then chances are the rest of the family are good. GEEZ! WHO WOULD THINK THAT AFTER 13 YEARS OF MARRIAGE AND THE THIRD CHILD THERE WOULD STILL BE SO MUCH TO LEARN!

Treasure Hunt

2009-11-08T06:42:00.006-06:00

Believe me, we're not always this creative!

Phoenix and his pirate booty!

Rio giving a hearty "A-hoy"!

Relaxing and enjoying the spoils.

Check out the pirate tattoo on his leg!

Depression

2009-11-06T06:39:00.008-06:00

Maybe it is post-partumn? The baby blues should be over by now, right? I can be in a funk for days lately. I'm perfectly fine now, loving life, finding joy in motherhood and not complaining about the arctic! But I was so down for about 4 days, in a bad place- withdrawn, hyper-sensitive, anxious, crying, feeling lonely. For the most part I'm able to put on a happy face for the kids, but in other moments I'm dry-heaving trying to cope with a simple task like putting away the clothes or a mistake I made that really anyone could have made. I just beat myself up like crazy telling myself how stupid I am. Once I start with one negative thought I just can't stop until I feel like vomiting.

During all that I went online to check out symptoms of depression. I had to laugh because it was exactly the words that I'd been throwing around in my head- feeling restless, crying a lot, feeling worthless, etc. It said that the treatment was "talk therapy". And then it was SO OBVIOUS how important community is to ME. I love my friends and I love SHARING life with people. I haven't found my place here yet, but I am usually fortunate in that wherever I go I find good people. I'm sure this year in Båtsfjord will be a fantastic adventure, but when things get hard I'm going to especially miss my amazing network back home. I LOVE YOU ALL! I'll be making good use of email and skype then! xxoo

p.s. I love my newly found blogging community as well!

Birthday Boy!

2009-11-05T06:02:00.011-06:00

Showing he is 2 years old.

He ate four cupcakes! And ice cream afterwards.

Fortunately he hasn't lost the cheeks yet! Birthday crown compliments of daycare.

This year our celebration consisted of me, Phoenix and the guest of honor Rio. Whoo-hoo! We ate homemade carrot cake cupcakes (a tradition from my childhood) and watched an 8 minute video I made of Rio.

Better than Vigeland

2009-10-27T07:47:00.006-05:00

"Angry boy"

Phoenix is much more interesting to these Japanese tourist than the sculptures!

Yes, they all wanted individual pictures with the boys!

Phoenix had another idea! A Wiggles dance instead!

Taken in the park by Daddy.

Oslo is home to an amazing sculpture park. Vigeland Park is the largest park of its kind made by one single artist in the world. Covering over 80 acres, Vigeland's lifework contains more than 200 works in bronze, granite and wrought iron.

All that is to say that while surrounded by this spectacular artwork, a group of Japanese tourists stopped to take a ton of pictures of OUR KIDS!!! I guess they thought it was cute that they were walking around the park in their matching rubber boots with a blue guitar in hand. I am especially proud that even though Phoenix looks different they still wanted to take pictures of him. I laughed so hard at the spectacle that I cried!!!

Here are more images from the park:

The Monolith

The Bridge

Google images

Celebrating w/the king at BK

2009-10-12T11:29:00.001-05:00

lover of Pirates
Happy
fOur
affEctionate
woNderful
wIggles fan
eXceptional

Phoenix is 4

2009-10-12T02:46:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday!

Tiago's birth

2009-08-13T06:54:00.005-05:00

click picture to see the album

If you didn’t see these pictures on facebook already here is the newest edition to our family…introducing Tiago Amante Nystad, born 4 august, 4060g/9pds, 53cm/21in.

Since I was 10 days overdue I was sent to the hospital for a check-up. The hospital is 3 hours away so I was fearful that they would make me stay there and induce me. That is what happened with Rio as I was 12 days overdue and it led to complications in his birth, a long recovery on my part and a little depression.

Ben and I took this amazing CRUISE SHIP to the hospital. We don’t have a car so this was one of our options. We were excited to have a night to ourselves enjoying the onboard luxuries like the outdoor Jacuzzi, the views of the midnight sun, sleeping in and a big breakfast. However, my contractions started only one hour after we boarded the ship. That was exciting!

When we pulled into the final port at Kirkenes, I was in transition. I was laboring infront of all the German tourists. I must have been quite a scene! The ambulance picked us up at the dock and when I arrived at the hospital I was full dialated!!!

It was a great birth with lots of help and support from Ben. But I must admit that I’m a screamer when it comes to pain and I know that Ben was just laughing his butt off behind my back!!! I’m thankful he hid it from me!

Now we are in MAJOR ADJUSTMENT period. Tiago's big brothers are super sweet with him, but Mom has the guilties. Thank you GOD for my husband. He is so helpful and full of lots of grace! AMEN!

well-baby visit

2009-08-13T06:48:00.003-05:00

So we're back in Båtsfjord, Ben's childhood home. It is even farther north than Tromsø and much smaller. Yes, we have moved here! I fought it but there are lots of good reasons to stay here for awhile, most importantly, awesome services for Phoenix...and then there is the small town charm.

Yesterday the nurse CAME TO OUR HOUSE to check Tiago and complete his first well-baby visit. I love that after the visit she sat down with the family and ate a piece of cake and we talked about baking! Small town charm...I hope its enough to keep me "happy" living here on the edge of the earth!

i <3 trash

2009-08-13T06:30:00.004-05:00

Boys are so much fun! Look what they get into! Having fun in the trash containers!

Bros

2009-07-24T17:17:00.001-05:00

Phoenix's new bike

2009-07-09T16:58:00.004-05:00

Phoenix's physical therapist ordered this tricycle for him. It is awesome! It was specially ordered to fit Phoenix's measurements and fits him perfectly. This is the first tricycle he's been able to ride and I hope that he feels empowered. Yes, Rio's scream in the beginning is entertaining too! We received the bike from www.pointbike.de

Moving SUCKS!

2009-07-08T16:51:00.005-05:00

Not if it means you get to watch The Wiggles all day!

We lived like this the whole last week before our move.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! I am so blessed because my mother-in-law and Ben did all the packing. I tried to watch the kids, but being near the end of my pregnancy and short on energy and patience, The Wiggles did most of the baby sitting.

But isn't packing just one of the worst things in the whole world? Even if you're going on a fantastic vacation it still sucks, I think. In our case, we're packing and still don't know where we'll be UNpacking. We're at Ben's mom's house for the moment but have a goal of being in southern Norway by September 1st. But Ben doesn't have a job and we might just end up closing our eyes and putting our finger on the map and moving there!!!

Risøya

2009-07-08T10:42:00.008-05:00

My beautiful Phoenix amongst an amazing backdrop!

The whole of risøya. The white house was built in 1856.

View north from the summit of risøya- 104 meters above sea level.

In a way I love that when you're about to leave a place you actually make an effort to do all the things you had planned on doing when you actually had time! But at the last minute you try to fit everything in. Spending a weekend at a cabin was one of those things.

My wonderful co-worker Kenth invited our family to join his family at his cabin on the island Risøya. Since the queen of Norway had once visited there, we couldn't say no! We drove one hour out of town to pick up a ferry which sailed about 1.5 hours before reaching the small island northwest of Tromsø island. We sailed amongst the various islands dotted with cabins dropping of passengers as we went. It was a cool yet sunny day.

Risøya was established by Kenth's great-great grandfather. At one time 30-40 people inhabited the island. There was a bakery, a fish oil factory and a down feather factory. Russian fisherman would come into shore to trade their goods. Today there are no longer any permanent residents. Kenth and his relatives utilize the main house and the fisherman's houses as cabins. Once the snow is gone they are there every weekend and spend their entire summer vacations there.

As you can see, there isn't much to do there and that is what cabin life is about! Taking it easy. Taking it slow. Watching the clouds, talking about the weather, predicting the weather, hikes, catching crabs and boat trips on the little outboard. Kenth's daughters enjoyed swimming in the frigid water with their wet suits. Ben and I enjoyed the good food and wonderful company, while Phoenix and Rio spent their days throwing rocks in the water, playing in the sand and "flirting" with the girls!!! It was a fantastic getaway before the stress of moving began!!!

Belly Painting

2009-06-14T14:01:00.003-05:00

2am in the land of the midnight sun

Being pregnant brings on new experiences. This time around it was belly painting! And it was so fun.

Like I said, we have met some great people here in Tromsø. Katrine is definitely one of the coolest and the one that I wish I could have gotten to know better. She has three adorable girls, her third is the same age as Rio, and a charming boyfriend who I voted "best dressed" at Rio's birthday. While she works in the hospital's pathology lab, she has a wildly creative spirit. Among other things, she loves capturing the mother-child relationship through the camera lense; she recently started to paint bellies and photograph them.

Inspired by mexican folk art, we designed this sun. She turned on some Billy Holiday and started painting freehand with theater make-up. We then did a photo shoot behind a white backdrop but I like the ones outside the best. In all my shyness, I was not easy to work with. But this was a special moment dedicated solely to baby number three whom I really haven't had much time to think about.

Thank you, Katrine! I will never forget this...or you!

Money well spent

2009-06-09T15:42:00.003-05:00

Saturday we threw a going-away party for OURSELVES!!! It was simple- hot dogs, Ben's famous 7-layer dip and his famous almond tart (yes, i married well!). While we have many complaints about living so far north in Norway we met a lot of good people up here. We will miss them- and the mountains- the most!

Sunday was spent at the carnival. As at any carnival one spends a lot of money on ridiculous things like trying to break a plate with a ball just to win for your kids a couple of stupid ties that they don't even like!!! But to see the joy on their faces when they rode on that "boring" train for the third time was priceless!

Inform yourself

2009-06-08T16:20:00.004-05:00

Watch the movie Zeitgeist for free online- thought-provoking and informative.

Pinse holiday

2009-06-01T14:50:00.008-05:00

Phoenix and Papa across from the cafe.

Mama and Phoenix sharing a panini during the 1 hour that it actually stopped raining.

p.s. Rio was sleeping in the stroller when we took these pictures.

I love living in a Lutheran country with no separation of church and state, because it means we get a ton of days off!!! For example, Christmas eve, Christmas and then usually the whole week until New Year's Day. Easter means you have off Thursday THRU Monday, then Ascension Day (the day Jesus returned to heaven 40 days after being crucified) and now Pinse (the day man was given the holy spirit, 50 days after the crucifixion).

Many people in northern Norway refer to Pinse as "Pinseria" because it is usually when Old Man Winter throws one more snow at us. And he succeeded this year. YUP, it is June 1st and we've been hit with a terrible week of rain, wind and even some snowflakes. Supposedly the reindeer calves are being born this weekend and they need to be born on fresh snow. STILL, it has been raining daily for 7 days now! The boys are back in their snowsuits and frankly, we've been depressed! After months and months of winter we need, DESERVE a break! SEND SUN!

Three Billy Goats Gruff

2009-05-28T14:09:00.002-05:00

If you didn't know, this tale originated in Norway. I have this terrible English transition of the story that I just have to share with you.

So the third goat comes over the bridge and the troll says he's going to gobble him up and the goat responds "Well, come along! I've got two spears, and I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears. I've got besides two great big stones, and I'll crush you to bits, body and bones." Graphic, huh? Maybe this shouldn't be a bedtime story!

Stockholm

2009-05-27T15:20:00.006-05:00

We visit and take a picture at this cafe every time we are in Stockholm.

I have the best husband in the world for so many reasons. But most recently he took care of the boys while I traveled solo for 5 days to visit my dear friend Viola.

God has blessed my life with amazing friends from around the world such that neither time nor distance seems to affect our friendships. Viola is no exception. We haven't seen each other in 7 years and haven't lived on the same continent for a decade. Still, we have always kept in contact. Usually when we call each other one of us says, "I was just about to call you!". It is so wonderful.

Viola lives in Stockholm and I have visited her or we have travelled together often through the city in between one of our many hitchhiking trips in Europe. So I have probably been to Stockholm 2o times. Thus, I was there to see Viola and not the city.

It was an inspiring, reflective and restful trip. I was inspired by Viola and her gorgeous apartment. We reflected over the years of our friendship, the big changes in our recent lives and laughed and appreciated the good old days. In terms of rest, sleeping until 10 am, using hours to eat breakfast and get ready and low expectations like getting a good latte and cinnamon roll. I WAS IN ANOTHER WORLD and for the moment it was glorious! I appreciated it while simultaneously not desiring that life. But, hey, it is the PERFECT life when you need a vacation!!!

Stockholm is only 5 hours from Oslo so I really look forward to moving there and being near Viola.

Norway wins Eurovision song contest!

2009-05-19T16:44:00.004-05:00

HIPP HIPP HURRA for Norway! But most Americans have no idea what I'm talking about!

So, Eurovision is a song contest. Each country chooses one song to represent themselves and then people all over Europe vote for the best song, but it is not possible to vote for your own country. However, voting can be quite political- Scandinavian countries voting for each other, the same goes for eastern European countries, etc. The contest was started in 1956 and until recently you had to sing in your own language. Europeans love this contest! Previous winners include ABBA and Celine Dion so this is a very prestigious title!

Hear the song that won it all! http://www.eurovision.tv/

Spring Fever

2009-05-15T15:56:00.002-05:00

So it is light 24 hours a day now and will be for about 3 months (don't forget that means we have 3 months of darkness too, but lets not think about that). You would think it was summer here. Our kids run around half-naked and take their baths outside. It is actually only 55F here but after 6 months of winter we'll take it! The weather really is fantastic, sunny and warm on your face (if you can get away from the cool breeze). The kids are outside all the time and it is fun and to run around with them.

Milestones- The boys have been talking a little more. Phoenix's vocabulary consists of "mama", "ice", "Rio" and "boobs" (he's always looking down my shirt so...). Rio says "mama", "papa" (actually he only whispers the word- it is so cute!), "barnehage" (daycare in Norwegian) and "China" (he has panda bears on his pajamas). It's fun to dream that someday Rio might study panda bears in China and that Phoenix will work as a field hand on a farm- he knows so many animal signs and puts on his cowboy outfit and boots at least once a day! Or he might be a Wiggle! He even made up his own sign for The Wiggles. Kind of annoying because he signs it all day and then wants us to put a DVD on for him. But my biggest dream for Phoenix is that one day he would sing the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley Field. We sing it every time he wears one of his many Cubs shirts!

Other than that, things are kind of coming to a close around here. We move out June 30 and now its time to tie up loose ends, fit in seeing everyone one last time and trying to do the tourist things we talk about doing but haven't done.

Belly Pics for Sari

2009-05-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

The boys giving their future brother ZERBERTS.

Rio gives ZERBERTS whenever he sees bare skin!

29 weeks 4 days

Don't let the smile deceive you. I got my first stretch mark today! (Boo!)

Changes 2

2009-05-10T08:05:00.002-05:00

So Ben did get fired after all, although illegally. Ben went to the union and told him the reason that he was getting let-go and they agreed to take his case. Ben's boss offered him a deal and the case was settled out of court. Yes, a dramatic and sad ending to a job that Ben sincerely loved, but in a way it works out perfectly with our desire to move to south Norway.

So we'll be out of Tromsø in July and back in Båtsfjord until Ben finds a job. (Ugh, part of me doesn't like that idea- don't want to get stuck in that little place.) Who knows where I'll give birth! Maybe I'll finally get to take the private plane to the hospital! And it will be berry-picking season in Båtsfjord. Plus, Ben's sister will be visiting again. All good stuff.

We are both excited about starting another chapter in this Norway adventure. Makes us feel free-spirited and spontaneous even though we will soon have 3 kids! Where will we live and work? Who will we befriend? Will we get to travel more often since we'll be down south? Who will come visit? Still, settling down (wow, are those words coming out of my mouth?) and planting roots somewhere could be equally fun...

Good songs

2009-04-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

They speak!!!!

2009-04-22T15:42:00.003-05:00

I could watch this a million times! Rio's face is so cute. He's trying to get his lips to do what he wants them to do! And Phoenix is just adorable. AND SO GOOD at saying "Rio". We're so proud of him!

Baby news

2009-04-21T14:44:00.002-05:00

OK, I haven't given out too many details. But after the ultrasound I finally have a due date of July 25th. I hadn't gotten my period after Rio's birth so I didn't know before. Hoping for a daughter, Ben really wanted to find out the sex (it was a surprise with both Phoenix and Rio)...probably a boy! Good, because I have way too many baby clothes already!

The baby is moving around like crazy!!! Way more than either Phoenix or Rio. I have been feeling fantastic luckily. I was dog-tired the first trimester but since those first 12 weeks things have been wonderful. However, I already feel that I have to let go of my "status" as THE ONE AND ONLY in terms of Rio and let Dad take over. I'm tired after work and don't have the energy to horse around with them like I used to. Ben is better at that anyway! Just something that prepares us as mothers for the meeting the needs of a newborn. :)

I will post belly pictures soon for those of you who are asking!

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Changes

2009-04-20T16:35:00.004-05:00

I really thought we'd be back in the US in the next year. We had decided that we were thoroughly DONE with "life in the arctic circle". I'm really gung-ho about raising Phoenix in the US, where there is so much support like Gigi's Playhouse, Special Olympics and access to all kinds of therapies. But with the death of Ben's dad a lot has changed.

I'm fine with that. I totally agree with Ben that we need to stick around until Ben's mom is back on her feet. We never even discussed it. We are both on the same page. We had felt the same way about my parents. That was an additional reason for us to move back to the US, to be near my parents who are in their late 70s.

Anyway, now that we're staying around here I'm so homesick! I realize that no matter where we are we will always miss where we have been. But for the moment I am dreaming of Chicago. I yearn for Foster Beach, Clark and Belmont, the beautiful homes of Lincoln Park, our old neighborhood Bucktown, a Cubs game, smelly Wrigleyville the day after, Tre Kronor, etc.

And one more thing...Ben has been on disability since January because of his shoulder surgery (it used to pop out of joint all the time). But in the mean time his boss told him that things are so slow at work that Ben will probably be let go. Which we were kind of EXCITED about! A good reason to move to south to Oslo (no more arctic circle snowstorms in April!). Ben has applied for four jobs in Oslo in the last week. But when he talked to co-workers today they said that they were overwhelmed with the amount of work. He'll find out tomorrow on his first day back!

So in the last month we've gone from moving the US to staying in Norway to moving to Oslo to staying here...and the place we rent is up for sale so we have to move no matter what!

:) ah, life!

Phoenix snowmobiles!

2009-04-17T13:44:00.002-05:00

First ride!

Upset that the first ride had to end!

Ordo Valley, Easter 2009

Ordo by snowmobile

2009-04-08T16:43:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite things in THE WORLD is snowmobiling in Båtsfjord during spring break. The weather is usually fantastic, meaning long sunny days, lots of blue sky and this amazing landscape.

On this trip the four of us piled on the snowmobile- Phoenix in front, then Ben, Rio (who only a couple days ago ran and hid at just the SOUND of the snowmobile) and myself on the back- and enjoyed an hour long ride through Ordo Valley, one of the longest valleys in all of Norway. We visited at our friend's cabin and did a little ice fishing, grilling and eating and mostly just hanging out living the cabin life for a day.

Going solo

2009-03-29T05:58:00.004-05:00

I'll be leaving Båtsfjord in a few minutes and I'll be flying "home" to Tromsø alone. Phoenix and Rio will be staying with Ben, his sister and his mom for the next week while I work. Then I'll fly back for 10 more days before we all drive to Tromsø.

At first I thought this was a fabulous idea- to have a week to myself!!! But now I'm dreading it. With the loss of Ben's dad on my heart (it just digs up all the junk in your life when tragedy occurs), I don't really want to be alone. And although I have friends in Tromsø, I long for my family and friends of old. I'm struggling with trying to be supportive when actually I'm going through some stuff too as a result of Roy's death. I've got the guilties about thinking about myself- how selfish!

I wonder how our future plans will change. Ben is naturally turning to his faith, something which divides us (at least I feel that way). And I just miss being around people who know me. They remind me of who I AM. Because right now I'm just unsure about all that stuff.

I'm going to miss my babies like crazy. One or two nights off from mommyhood would probably have been enough. And Ben and I- we're just not communicating at the moment. What a challeging time! But I trust that we will learn and grown as a result. (Although honestly I just want to curl up in a ball in my bed and not deal with any of this. UGH!)

Praises be to the Lord in all types of weather!

(p.s. won't have the computer all week so I'll post next week.)

The day after

2009-03-25T01:20:00.002-05:00

I keep hearing people say "the worst is over", meaning the funeral. But I feel like the worst is just beginning. Family members are already flying out today and now we have to cope with normal everyday life without Roy. I think that is going to be the hardest...going through our daily routines in such a way that we look ok on the outside but holding back tears here and there or lying awake at night thinking about him. (And I mean "we" as in those closest to Roy, not necessarily me. I already see this struggle on Ben's face this morning.)

It was a closed-casket ceremony but the day before family members were allowed to view the body. I didn't feel any need to do this but at the last second, since the boys seemed content with Grandma and the others, I decided to join Ben, his sister and a couple others. I'm so glad I was able to be there for Ben. It was a really strange thing being there. He was dressed in white in a white coffin in a small room with candles and roses. When we walked in he had a white satin cloth over his face that was so dramatically removed once we'd all gathered around the casket. Having seen way too many movies, Ben and I feared he was going to wake up suddenly and grab us or something. But Ben's sister eased everyone's akwardness.

She went right up to her dad's cold, lifeless body and started caressing his hands, his cheeks and running her fingers through his hair. It was so beautiful. It was so loving. That is when I lost it. That is when I realized the magnitude of this loss...losing a parent! Although Ben's sister lives in New York she talked to her dad every single night for at least one hour. She hadn't seen him in many months. Yet she was so thankful just to see his dead body and to have the opportunity to hold him again. The rest of us stayed there about 30 minutes. She was in there with the body for over an hour. In the end Ben was in the parking lot beeping the horn for her to come out!!!

Home at the Nystads

2009-03-22T06:58:00.004-05:00

So we're home in Båtsfjord now, Ben's hometown that is. He and Rio arrived a few days before Phoenix and I. Naturally it is strange to be here without Ben's dad. I guess I would say that everyone is doing alright now. Ben's mom said things got easier once her two children arrived home. There isn't a lot of crying like in the first days but there is still that huge sense of loss lingering in the house.

Ben's dad was one of 10 siblings. They are spread all over Norway and Germany but they will all be arriving for the funeral which is on Tuesday. Many of them are here already and it is great that the house is full of them and others filing in and out. There are lots of stories shared and lots of laughter. On the table is a digital frame constantly displaying images of Roy. I'm so glad that they are celebrating him in this way and not "hiding" everything that reminds them of him.

As for me, I haven't cried a lot. I've never lost anyone really close to me. I cried when Ben told me the news and then I cried when he and Rio left for Båtsfjord. Ben is so curious as to why I haven't cried. Fortunately he doesn't believe that I didn't love his dad. He's just wondering if it my faith or a strength? I'm asking myself the same question.

I guess one reason I haven't cried so much is that I don't feel like it is my place. I want to give my support to those who need it- Ben, his sis and his mom. He was my father-in-law and we lived in different countries most of the time. Again, I just don't feel like it is my place. I mean I don't want any of them comforting me in a time that they really need the comfort. But also, and this is very strange as Ben made clear to me, I just don't fear death. Of course losing someone who you shared life with is terrible but he was a faithful Jehovah's Witness and therefore everyone believes that he is in a good place so I just feel like it is a time to celebrate him, be thankful for the moments that we did share with him and to serve as a reminder that life is short and we better live it to the fullest- for God, for our family or for whatever your deepest cause is. Of course there is an emptiness but in the end I have chosen to believe that God is good and deserves our praise even in pain and emptiness. Arg, am I heartless? Am I overconfident, stupid? Am I not dealing with some issues I have?

It is a very strange time.

In memory of

2009-03-17T16:17:00.003-05:00

Ben's father, Phoenix and Rio's grandfather, passed away suddenly on March 16.

Back "home" in Norway

2009-03-01T13:55:00.005-06:00

Rio sleeping in his stroller while we grilled.

Norwegians pull their kids behind their skis in these sleds. I so want one!

Our view.

Reunited!

Phoenix didn't want to sit next to Mama. He clearly signed "No. Papa." when I tried to sit down!

First the first time in my life, I went "home" (the home of my childhood in Algonquin, Illinois, USA) just for a visit. I've lived in other parts of the world but never for long enough that I would actually go home to visit. So this was a first for me...to leave...to rush around trying to see everybody...to land in a city that is my now my home but yet so temporary.

My 2 week visit to the US was a whirlwind. I was actually in Chicagoland only one week and spent the other week between Minnesota and Michigan. There was a very sad moment when I realized I couldn't see "everybody" and that made me just want to go home to Norway. If I couldn't see everyone I didn't want to be there. But of course, I'm thankful for the time that I did spend with my family and some friends.

Now I'm just trying to process it all. I had some great conversations with dear friends that both inspired me and gave me a lot to think about. I love them all and am so grateful for their friendship.

It was fun to come home to Ben and Phoenix (although on the international flight Rio cried every 30 seconds for about 5 hours!) and know that where ever my husband and kids are is my home.

SURPRISE!

2009-02-17T23:18:00.003-06:00

I've been home in the States since Thursday, February 12. I decided to surprise my dad on his 79th birthday. Neither of my parents knew that Rio and I were coming. My parents were out to dinner with my brother for the occassion and we just walked in casually with my sister-in-law. It wasn't before I was inches away from the table that the realized it was me! It was so fun to surprise them! And then drop the bomb that I'm pregnant too! My mom looked like she'd seen a ghost when she saw me and Rio. I'll post pictures soon.

Its just me and Rio because we're saving money to move back to the US eventually so Ben and Phoenix (since his ticket cost 80% of an adult ticket) stayed behind. I miss them...

Dress-up and distress

2009-02-01T15:38:00.004-06:00

Dress-up was so fun! Totally worth the money for these adorable outfits. The cowboy one is my favorite!

Distress. Ugh, I'm still recovering from the weekend. Ben has been out-of-town at a funeral for 5 days. Thank God he's coming home tonight and for the moment I never want him to leave me alone in Tromsø again!

This part of the post is going to blame Tromsø for everything! But the big thing is that motherhood is not easy for me. Well, mothering two kids that is. My anger issues and now my compulsive overeating disorder (self-diagnosed but I'm definitely going down that road if I don't get some control) started with the birth of Rio. I'm sure I had these issues before but having 2 kids just brought it clearly to the surface (maybe a good thing). Oh no, what will child #3 bring out in me?

So I went to the gym on my new membership. Kept getting interrupted by the daycare provider. But no problem. I was thankful that someone was watching them so that I could work out. I thanked them a million times and thanked Phoenix and Rio too.

I was excited to take the kids to a free music concert, part of the Northern Lights Festival. We got kicked out basically because Phoenix BREATHED and I just flipped. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO HERE AND NO CULTURAL EXPERIENCES AVAILABLE FOR KIDS. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I CAN'T JUST GO FOR HIKE WITH THEM ALL THE TIME!

I've been keeping it together for awhile as Ben has had shoulder surgery and can't help at all with the kids' basic needs (changing diapers, getting them dressed, pick up/delivery at daycare) and now him being gone.

It was just too much. I really had a break down and it continued today. AND NOW Ben just called to say that his plane was cancelled due to strong winds (but he's a prankster so I'm sure if I actually believe him!).

Anyway, I totally failed as a parent. I lost it on my kids in a really bad way. I'm constantly asking myself, "Why can't I do this? Why can't I handle it? Why am I so unsure about my decisions?" All in relationship to being a parent. Thank God I have good friends who can be honest with me about their own parenting struggles. Often I feel so alone in this struggle but I am grateful that I'm not. I just need to share it with people instead of just trying to handle it all on my own or with an apology.

There is so much more but now its late and I'm just emotionally exhausted.

Cute pictures though, huh? So grateful that there is so much joy to be had despite life's junk.

Obamicon.me

2009-01-30T15:58:00.002-06:00

Dinner

2009-01-18T14:48:00.002-06:00

I ate this fish for dinner tonight! YIKES! Look at those teeth! Ben told me that once they bite they don't let go, even if you cut their heads off!

It tasted about as good as it looked, despite the sour cream, tomato puree, garlic, onion and black olives! OK, it really wasn't that bad. I took seconds and doggie bag home from our neighbor's.

In Norwegian it is called steinbit (literally "rock bite"). I guess its a type of wolf fish?

To see more disturbing pictures go here.

Phoenix as Ancient Roman Senator

2009-01-15T16:09:00.002-06:00

Post-shower fun! Can you think of some quotes for these pictures?

My cute first born

2009-01-09T15:29:00.003-06:00

10 words for 2009

2009-01-06T13:20:00.002-06:00

i took this idea from i am bossy. new year's resolutions in 10 words. short and sweet. can you do it? please share.

more.

sleep.

exercise.

god.

creative evenings.

economically wise.

love.

less anger.

I haven't posted in forever because...

2008-12-27T07:12:00.007-06:00

- i took a pregnancy test and it was positive!!! yes, joy. yes, we were "trying".

(BY THE WAY, PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS. MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW YET, NOR DO MY CO-WORKERS AND I'D LIKE IT TO STAY THAT WAY UNTIL I'M PAST THE THIRD TRIMESTER IN FEBRUARY. thank you for respecting this.)

but quickly came the, OH SHIT! and fear, depression. mostly related to phoenix. i really wanted to be back in the US so that phoenix could begin school (he's already missed one year) and get the therapies he needs and deserves. almost no services exist here, none that phoenix qualifies for at least, and the school system is the worst in europe. if we do have to stay (unstable job market in the US, an ENTIRE YEAR of paid maternity leave here) i'll home school phoenix and rio part-time and have them in daycare the rest of the time so that i can take care of the newborn. but, again, i just wonder if things would be better in the US. i know that i miss home and friends a lot.

-all in all, i just want to sleep all the time. i am lazy and have no motivation no matter how hard i try. then i get mad at myself for the self-pity. but i'm so blessed and believe in a god of love who will provide me with anything i need!!!!

- other than that big stuff, rio and i will be visiting the US to attend a friend's wedding in february (couldn't afford the nearly full-price ticket for phoenix too). we'll arrive on my dad's birthday and surprise him while he's out to dinner with my mom and brother. my sister-in-law is planning it. can't wait!

- had the worst christmas on record! as i've written before, my husband is a jehovah's witness so there's no celebrating anything. i try to celebrate, to keep some traditions going, but it is really hard. it just feels empty and fake to celebrate "a little" but not ALL of it. i sulked for 2 days and cried a lot. how are we going to solve this problem in the future? will we have any traditions? i think they're important and build family bonds. UGH. hate this time of the year. and in norway it's like christmas doesn't end until new year's so i'm just feeling suffocated all the time.

- still, i baked my first turkey and had all the trimmings...green bean casserole, baked sweet potatoes with marshmallows, creamed corn casserole with jiffy corn bread mix (my mom brought over 6 boxes when she visited last year), homemade stuffing (sucked) and trader joe's corn bread muffins (christmas gift from my mom).

- ben has been amazing though. i couldn't ask for a more "close-to-perfect" husband. he ENJOYS housework and i hate it. and never complains that i'm lazy while he's cleaning. he's amazing. i was sick in bed for 2 days and he did EVERYTHING without complaining even though he is plagued with back aches and headaches lately. he's just amazing. i hate that i still want perfection from him. i want to be thankful for what i have.

BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! let's blame this pity-party and all the tears attached to it on the pregnancy.

-oh, and i read THE MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER. totally worth reading but i'm still pissed about it!

Thanksgiving in Norway

2008-11-27T15:54:00.003-06:00

DAH! Of course they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Norway. Or at least they have no right to. Actually today on the Norwegian news they did a story about a Norwegian family celebrating Thanksgiving. They had a turkey and the dad came in the room and said, "Happy Thanksgiving"in English. LAME! Get your own holidays and your own language! They've also started to celebrate Halloween here too, but it too is LAME because only a small portion of the population celebrate it and some are even against and look down on those who celebrate it. We didn't get a single trick-or-treater. (OK, I'm not naive. I know a lot of America's holidays are imports from elsewhere but those people actually live in America!)

All 3 of the boys in our house have been throwing up and/or had loose stools all week so I forgot about planning a Turkey Day Feast. Truth be told, we have no $ and had to borrow $20 from Phoenix's savings to buy milk today. It's not that bad, Ben's paycheck will be in our account in 2 days. (Part of the problem is that it took 4 months to get my work permit so I have yet to get a paycheck. But it will be 4-months worth when I do get it!).

So our Thanksgiving consisted of fiskegrantang and vafler (so Norwegian!) and 3 things we were thankful for today

Ben said

1- the phone call from his friend in prison

2- that this same friend was allowed to leave prison to visit his dying mother

3- our family

I said

1- that Rio didn't puke today

2- that Connie sent a thoughtful text message to me

3- our family

Maybe I'll blow Ben's paycheck on a turkey and all the trimmings after all! We'll see. But I need more family and a football game and a parade for it to really feel like Thanksgiving. Ah, traditions are good!

I did get to skype with my parents, brother and his lovely wife who made a fabulous feast. Oh how my mouth watered as I read what was on the meny!!!! But my favorite was when my soon-to-be-41 year old brother stuck his nose in the camera and we could see his nose hairs! DON'T GROW UP SCOTT!

Thanksgiving = best FOOD holiday. MISS YA AMERICA.

Rio's girly hat

2008-11-22T15:52:00.005-06:00

Rio's great grandma on his dad's side really wants a grand daughter. She is OFTEN buying Rio especially girls clothes (in my opinion)- a pink striped turtleneck, a turquoise shirt with pink lettering, a turquoise jacket with hearts, this hat...among other things...sorry, not trying to say that boys in blue and girls in pink is the law...i LOVE my hubby in his pink polo or pink tie, but that's different!

photos

2008-11-18T15:51:00.004-06:00

Body Art

Sipping smoothies

Feeling Holy

Arctic Cathedral, Tromsø

Of darkness, Finnish chocolate and a kid who won't sleep

2008-11-14T14:44:00.007-06:00

Poor kid has a comb-over already!

Since it was already pitch black when the kids woke up from their naps, we kept the lights off and had a dance party.

We put on our head lamps, even the kids, and all our reflectors too (vests, arms bands, teddy key chain reflectors too---we have so many because it dark for so many months here) and danced to some good house music (Deep Dish)!!!

For dinner today I had 8 pieces of the best chocolate in the world, FAZER KELATAINEN, (Finnish chocolate with whole hazelnuts), hot chocolate and two slices of homemade bread with white cheese. And it was delicious. The kids had some left over chili and then we all enjoyed gingerbread cookies and milk for dessert. Hey, its Friday and there is a snow storm raging outside and I don't feel guilt about any of it!

So my non-sleeping child. Rio. 1 year old. I don't know what has happened in the past week and a half but it is me driving nuts, like on the verge of a mental breakdown. Yes, I have screamed at him. I am just so frustrated!!!! He whines when he's awake and won't stay asleep at night but is HAPPY AS A CLAM at daycare (something that brought me to tears AT daycare this week!).

Long story short and some advice later, I really think he started daycare too early (9 months) or too late (meaning that if he'd been used to it since he was really little maybe we wouldn't be going through this). I think he needs a lot of attention and I should respect that and not tell him to "get over it". Arg, that quote comes from my MIL who thinks I spoiled him. Plus, Rio only nurses before bedtime now (by his own accord) so I think he really misses the closeness.

Oh, and suddenly we have to hold Phoenix's hand in order for him to fall asleep. I don't what has happened with him either in the past 10 days. I've worked hard for 3 years so that he wouldn't have any dependencies when it comes to sleep but suddenly he freaks out when we leave the room and then Rio wakes up and....you know the rest of the story.

Phoenix and hats update

2008-11-14T14:37:00.003-06:00

I wrote an earlier post about Phoenix's love of hats and the game that he plays with the big kids at daycare. Now they're no longer allowed to play that game. The daycare doesn't want Phoenix to be seen as a "clown". I guess they think that since Phoenix isn't as fast as the other kids he can't chase them down so eventually the big kids will turn this game into more of a "teasing the kid with DS" game. I totally respect the daycare providers for being so concerned about my child but a little part of me is sad that they took something fun away from the kids and Phoenix. On the other hand, hopefully they'll be able to find another "more respectful" game to play.

Mental Health Day

2008-11-05T08:06:00.006-06:00

Chocolate chip cookies, a glass of milk and a Cubs shirt.

(Phoenix wore his Cubbies T also today. Had to REPRESENT!)

Thank you, Rio, for being sick today. I needed a day off! Not because I'm sick of work (I actually enjoy my job for once!) but I needed TO SEE THE SUN for a few hours and the election hoopla!

I suck. I didn't vote. I didn't do the absentee ballot thing like I should have. Just never got around to it. But I counted on Obama winning Illinois anyway. We were up late last night watching BBC and looking up results online. This morning I jumped out of bed to continue watching BBC. I admit, I got all wrapped up in the emotions of it...of disenfranchised people finally getting the dignity they deserve, John McCain's speech was beautiful (those rednecks booing was kinda funny too), the diverse group of people in my home turf gathered in Grant Park cheering and crying together, the students I taught on the south side of Chicago and how meaningful it must have been for them, voting for the first time in this historical election. I thought of Obama's book title "The Audacity of Hope" and the reality of those words. This world can be so cruel yet people still find hope. I am amazed. He has the world on his shoulders though. Both the demands of being "the first black president" and pleasing his other supporters as well as the whole world it seems.

At 8am my time I felt like I just had to call someone. But everyone in the US was sleeping so I called Jackie, an old friend who just moved to Germany. It was so good to talk to her and share the strangeness of experiencing this momentous occasion from a foreign country. I was quit emotionally exhausted after the conversation but very thankful for her friendship.

Then Rio and I went to a parent meeting in his daycare. Afterwards I called my best friend Anna and wished her a happy birthday and now I've baked a batch of chocolate cookies. I tried a new recipe.

Rio's Birthday and Jehovah's Witnesses

2008-11-02T14:48:00.005-06:00

Yeah! Today we had a great party in honor of Rio's first birthday. In my opinion, it was a success! The guests liked the food, the kids kept busy playing or making masks and EVERYONE CAME! We had 24 guests (+ us 3) in our tiny apartment! It was so fun! Only one thing was missing...Rio's father.

Ben's dad is a Jehovah's Witness so he doesn't believe in celebrating any holidays. BUT I JUST HAD TO CELEBRATE RIO'S FIRST BIRTHDAY! I think it is important to pause and reflect on the past year, the good times and bad and all the growth (physical and emotional) that has taken place. Also, I wanted to share this moment with all the people that helped me through the challenges of Rio's first year. I was so touched that everybody came.

Ben and I have been married for 12 years and out of respect for his beliefs, I have stopped celebrating holidays. Sure, I show up to most of the parties but my heart is always troubled. I feel guilty spending "our money" on gifts for people. I strongly believe in the Christian faith, but I don't agree with JWs that it is ungodly to celebrate holidays. I think traditions are important because they bring people together, even if just for a moment. I struggle with how to respect Ben but still respect my own beliefs. Is it really that important? Its just a couple days a year. I can just give it up. That's way today was important to me. I had a BIRTHDAY PARTY, a real birthday party, with a BIRTHDAY cake, a BIRTHDAY song and we accepted BIRTHDAY gifts. I didn't try to hide the fact that it was a celebration. (Poor Phoenix...his first birthday party was called an "AUTUMN PARTY" so that I wouldn't offend Ben! I SUCK!)

Ben was totally fine with the party, even though he wasn't apart of it. He helped me prepare by cleaning the whole house by himself (YES! HE IS AMAZING!) and watching the kids without complaining while I cut fruit and vegetables.

OK, I still feel a little bit guilty though. Why did I do something, spend time and money on something that EXCLUDED MY OWN HUSBAND, THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN? Arg, such is life!

First snow

2008-10-30T16:05:00.003-05:00

There has been snow in the mountains and frost here since September, but today was our first real snow. Only 8 more months before it melts!!! No, actually I love the winters here. They are much more enjoyable than Chicago winters. People are so surprised that it is colder in Chicago than here in the Arctic Circle. The winter temperature hovers around 25-30F and fortunately there is no "wind chill" to factor in. With lots of snow and "mild" temperatures, it is perfect for playing in the snow!

Phoenix's day today

2008-10-29T15:29:00.002-05:00

Today when i picked up Phoenix from daycare a boy came up to me and said, "Guess what Phoenix did?". For every parent I'm sure this is a tense moment, "Did he bite someone? Get in trouble? Spill something?". I held my breath. The boy told me that Phoenix took his hat. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing so I just said, "Phoenix loves hats!" (which he does!). Then the daycare provider chimed in and told me that Phoenix was playing with a few kids, "chasing them" (he doesn't run, but does a fast walk) and pulling their hats off. She said that the kids and Phoenix had a ball playing and laughing together. Ah...a sigh of relief! That was a good story that made me smile!

sleepy, sleepy- maybe its the darkness

2008-10-28T15:07:00.003-05:00

i took this picture when i picked up the boys at pre-school today. it was 4pm! i had to wear my reflector vest it was so dark! the light is actually one of many street lights that they have on the playground so that the kids don't have to play in complete darkness. hilarious! still, i really appreciate that no matter the weather, the kids are outside playing at least once a day. its nice not to hear kids complaining all the time about it being cold or rainy. as the norwegian saying goes, "no bad weather, only bad clothing". but, when you live in the arctic circle and have winter 8- 10 months a year, i guess you have to tell yourself stuff like that!

rio's first trip to the ER

2008-10-27T18:13:00.003-05:00

yup, the kid isn't even 1 yet and he's already been to the ER (phoenix was 2 1/2 before his first visit). we were about to eat a very norwegian dinner, pannekaker and beta soup, when first phoenix put his hand in the hot soup on the table and then rio. rio is getting so big, he's constantly walking so he gets around a lot faster than we're used to and he has very long fingers. so the hot soup fell right in his face. thank the lord that he wasn't burned badly. it was worst on his hand instead of his face. ben was a super hero reacting quickly and putting him under freezing cold water in the shower. our dear friend let us borrow her car so we could drive him the ER. in the end, they made us run lukewarm water over him and then sent us home. the burns weren't as bad as they initially looked. rio just needs some extra TLC. still, it was emotionally exhausting. i've been passed out on the couch ever since. now i'm off to bed...god natt!

Norwegians and their porridge

2008-10-26T17:31:00.002-05:00

Phoenix stirring the oatmeal

Turning on the fan

Rio tugging on Mom's leg, "Jeg vil hjelp!"

Norwegians love their porridge, whether it is made of oats, rice, semolina, butter or sour cream, its all good!

down syndrome t-shirt slogans

2008-10-25T15:05:00.007-05:00

first click here to read the t-shirt slogans.

this is the first time i've come across these shirts. personally, i think they are hilarious. although i understand if you find them offensive. my favorite slogan was "DOES THIS SHIRT MAKE ME LOOK RETARDED?". its so raw, to the point, direct, in your face, that I think it could actually make people think about how they use the "r-word" and how it affects the people around them.

my junk

2008-10-24T14:32:00.004-05:00

i have some serious junk, not necessarily in my life, but inside me. i'm just so insecure these days (or for the past year). i just feel like CRAP all the time. so i stuff myself with food to make myself feel better. it is a horrible habit. so far it hasn't really affected my weight but it will soon if i don't get control.

i don't know where to begin, but i really think the move to norway took me over the edge. having a kid with DS really wasn't that hard for me to deal with. honestly. i had such a huge community of friends and family who poured out so much love over me, ben and phoenix, that i got through the "shock" and the first-time mom stuff pretty well. plus, all the doctors, nurses, medical staff and AMAZING THERAPISTS encouraged us so much...

...then we moved to norway and i had NOTHING.

NO ONE. i haven't met anyone who really knows anything about DS or recent research. there is NO EARLY INTERVENTION here (at least not that i am aware of) so i have no experts to help me. ok, so that was hard...

...then rio came.

rio is the sweetest little thing. he requires so little of me. he just needs to nurse and then he's off exploring on his own. he's so content. but having two kids, moving to a new country, no friends, in the middle of "the darkness" really KICKED MY ASS! it did. the "terrible 2s" kicked my ass too. motherhood and all this other stuff led to so much SELF-DOUBT. arg, i just can't handle it anymore. i can't just "get over it". it keeps coming back.

now i have insecurities at work. i enjoy my job as a special ed aide, but i'm working in a foreign language which makes things so hard. i don't feel like myself because i can't express myself. i LOVE people but now i'm just quiet and laugh when everyone else does. my co-workers must think i'm such a wierdo! and i so yearn "to be known" by them, but i just don't have the "language" for it.

its all so frustrating. it leads to self-doubt as a mom and a wife. i feel so lost...and now that i try to eat myself back to happiness i just feel fat and gross and unhealthy and like a bad example to my kids...then i feel even worse. it is a bad, bad cycle.

that is my junk.

too busy to post...I FAILED!!!

2008-10-23T13:50:00.003-05:00

i failed to write anything for the last 7 days. sorry. i'll do better next year. but like i said, i was tired BEFORE marissa arrived and after "partying" every night i just had no energy to post. i promise i'll do better next year!

highlights of the past week...

-being lazy and chatting it up with a dear friend

-girls night out

-karaoke with friends of friends from seattle (so random!)

-road trip without the kids!

(i'm trying to post pictures but it is taking way too long!)

he's come so far

2008-10-16T16:38:00.003-05:00

i was just thinking about how far phoenix has come...

joy, peace, proud, thankful

still sleepy, happy birthday to me, when will he start talking?

2008-10-15T16:37:00.004-05:00

local down's group

my birthday present-

MARISSA arrives from san francisco

marissa came bearing gifts- 3 kilos of finnish chocolate,

an ipod charger, cointraeu for margaritas, and lots more!

life...

ok , it is midnight and rio is crying so we made our guest from san francisco go in to him!!! she rocks!

so life...i heard rio cry last night at 4:30 this morning and i just couldn't sleep after that. i started worrying about phoenix's biting. and how it relates to his delayed speech. he bites because he has no other way to communicate or initiate play. i think he really just wants to get their attention so they can play. he usually bites the kids he likes best and, naturally, they won't want to play with him if he keeps biting. so i'm worried. i got up and read, tried to find some answers, some way to make him HURRY UP AND START TALKING! but, ugh, patience, patience.

the rest of my day...woke up SUPER TIRED because i was up all night reading, busy day at the daycare...disco ball, ABBA, practicing cutting, a hike to the lavvo. then ran home, tried to nurse rio, he refused, i'm sad, took a cab to a downs meeting. fun to meet up with everyone, especially parents of 6 month old. came home, gave the boys their fish oil, threw them in their beds, tried to pick up AND THEN MY FRIEND ARRIVED FROM SAN FRANCISCO! all the way up here in the arctic circle! what a great birthday present!

Sleepy

2008-10-14T15:44:00.002-05:00

I didn't write last night because I went to bed at the same as the kids...yup, I went to bed at 8pm, got up at 11:30pm to brush my teeth, and then went back to sleep until 6:30am. And you know what? I STILL woke up tired and I AM STILL TIRED! Honestly, I'm still recovering from the weekend! :)

The in-laws have been here so that meant BABY SITTERS! And we took full advantage. Last weekend we out for our anniversary. This weekend had wine and cheese at a friend's house on Friday (ok, LOTS of wine and some cheese) and on Saturday we went to our block party. Coming home at 3am and then waking up at 6am takes a toll on an old fart like me (my birthday is tomorrow...I'm just getting older!), although Ben took the kids so I was able to sleep later.

Still, its Tuesday and I still haven't recovered. This weekend I'll be out too. Marissa is coming to visit from the US (YEAH!) and of course we'll have to celebrate my birthday too!

Oh well. I can sleep in November. The darkness will be here then anyways so not much else to do.

Good night!

Phoenix turns 3!

2008-10-12T14:05:00.009-05:00

And mama makes a cheezy little film of the past year.
(not sure how to improve the quality though????)

What happens when Mom isn't home

2008-10-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

For some reason my husband decided it was ok for Rio to sit in his high chair and eat lunch without a diaper. Of course, he peed! While Ben was cleaning up Rio's pee, Phoenix decided it would be fun to pour his milk all over himself. His diaper was soaked so Ben took it off and started cleaning up the spilt milk without putting a new diaper on Phoenix. While he was cleaning the floor he started to smell something terrible and looked up to see Rio smearing his poop all over the floor and himself! He ran to the bathroom to get Rio in the shower while Bestemor tried to keep Phoenix out of the poop. Instead, Phoenix decided to pee on the rug.

Moral of the story- put the diaper on the baby!